shit, or get off the pot

I did it...I finally made an inquiry at another barn for a new instructor. I feel like I am cheating on my boyfriend. Ha. It's weird, this decision would be so much easier if there was something I didn't like about my current instructor/barn. The truth is, I love everything there and they have been incredibly generous with me in the year I have been taking lessons there. Christ, they knew me for 2 months before offering Kiki to me to ride as a free lease. But, deep down, something is missing. I know it, and it's been eating away at me since Kiki left for Florida. I am sure that some of it was just me feeling disorientated after she was gone and I am certain that everyone there was handling me with kid gloves for awhile, but let's face it, I am not the bread and butter of that operation. I barely fit in when I DID have a project and no I just find myself flailing around when I am there wishing I had a reason to hang at the barn all day. My lessons have been good -- split between two advanced horses that have a lot to teach me -- but I don't feel connected to them and that something I am really craving.

I have been trolling the internet night and day looking for potential lease options and nothing has really sparked my interest (*well, there was a fun looking draft/paint cross recently but I waited too long). The girl I mentioned a while back who used to ride at the advanced event level offered her two 3 year old projects to me if I am ever interested -- I honestly don't know if that would be the best thing for me right now, but a lovely offer none the less. So today, while sifting through the usual bad listings I found a girl who has a problematic mare she wants to lease out to someone. The ad is pretty simple just stating that she's a hot headed and high strung mare who can walk, trot, canter and jump 3'6" when she's in shape. The girl who owns her is looking for something easier to ride but can't afford two horses. Normally I wouldn't be interested in this kind of arrangement, but she happens to be boarding her at one of the facilities I was interested in when I was searching for an instructor a year ago. So a little light bulb moment occurred and I thought maybe I can start taking lessons over there and hey, maybe that mare and I would be a good fit? Event instructor AND a project pony? Now that sounds like a good idea.

Not to use a bad pun here but, let's not put the cart before the horse. I wrote the instructor an email and she has already responded back. I obviously didn't mention the ad about the mare, but will likely bring it up when we meet. It would be awesome to go take a look at her farm this weekend! She has a gorgeous outdoor ring and a full cross country schooling course! Woo Hoo!

Although I feel a little funny about writing to a new instructor, I know it's ultimately the best thing for me to do right now. I want to keep moving forward and I'm not sure I can where I am right now.

Phew!