News about Kiki

The relationship I have with my trainer is special. She's part instructor, therapist, friend/sister/mother and role model. She's built a fantastic business (and now has a side business as a saddle fitter for County), has a beautiful family and a barn full of happy horses. She's someone that I feel like I can tell anything to and it's been that way from the beginning. When things were really tough with Kiki (and I was also in a bad mental state) we'd just just talk during my lessons. I ride around in circles hardly asking for anything from Kiki and just vent. I needed it, and she was always willing to play the appropriate role for me. As with all horse people, we don't agree on everything, which makes for a more interesting relationship. I'm glad for that, but it can be challenging at times. When Kiki left the farm, I did not agree with the decision... mostly, I was wrapped up in my emotions and couldn't get a handle on what was the best thing for her. It's easy for me to look back and acknowledge that now. In the moment, I felt betrayed and it took me a long time to feel close to my trainer after that. Hearing about Kiki since she moved on has always been bittersweet. I know that went to a good home. The girl that took her brought her to Wellington, Fl and kept her at a lovely facility where she had loads of attention.



After a few months on regular contact, the new owner stopped communicating as much with B. They kept in touch infrequently, and it was apparent that Kiki was having some physical problems. She had been moved back up to the Northeast for some rest. The suspicion was that her stifles were locking up, something that B had worried about all along. It never happened while I was working with her, but her attitude problems seemed as though they could have stemmed from something physical (though she never took a lame step in the 6 months I worked with her). After that, B didn't hear from her owner for months and months. We started to get a little worried that maybe something had happened. During a farm visit for a saddle fitting, B was surprised to see Kiki's new owner standing in the barn aisle. They caught up, and it was revealed that Kiki was having major locking stifle issues. She had two procedures done on her and the vet gave a pretty dismal prognosis about her usefulness. She was comfortable enough as a pasture puff, but would never be able to much more than that. B assured her new owner that if she needed to make a decision to let her go, that she agreed it would be the best thing to do. Thankfully, her owner decided to look into other avenues for retirement. She found a breeding program that needs retired mares. Basically, she would live at a beautiful facility year round with other mares. She would be brought in 3-4 times a year for the stallions (so they can collect semen for various uses -- B explained this to me but I think I zoned out a little thinking about Kiki being used as a walking uterus). She would only be mounted a handful of times over the course of her cycle and only under completely supervised/careful conditions. She won't be bred (even though she has really good breeding!) and she'll be able to relax and enjoy her retirement. At the point that she's in too much physical pain, they may revisit euthanasia...

This news was really tough to hear. There's a part of me that would rather know nothing about her life after our journey together. There's also a part of me that wants to know everything. I hope that she can live a full life as a pasture puff, getting fat and shiny bossing other mares around, just like when we first met.