sometimes she is pure evil

After months and months of training the mare, I forget easily that she was once a total monster to work with. For a little while we would have three good days and then one terrible day...we developed a pattern where I could count on her for a few days in a row and then brace myself for the inevitable. In fact, when I look at my google calendar you can clearly see the pattern (and it is usually during lessons that she acts like a bitch). So I have gotten a little complacent with her. I trust her now...which is both good and bad. I am always trying to figure out if she sees me as a leader or as another member of her herd. It's clear that she accepts me and enjoys being around me. We definitely have a bond and it's very sweet to see how much she's softened over the last few months. Anyway, last night I helped out doing evening chores at the barn, which wound up taking forever because the turnout schedule is all wacky and then a guy shows up in the middle of everything to speak with L about having some thoroughbreds backed. The guy was really nice so I gave him a tour of the farm and he met the horses etc. When we got to Kiki's pasture she came over to say hello and was being a little cutie pie, I insisted she's actually a monster, ha! So fast forward to a little later and L and I are trying to switch up a few of the geldings and there are two fawns trapped in the paddock, we try chasing them out but they can't figure out how to escape and they wind up spooking the two horses which alerts Kiki, so she and the herd come cantering over to see what the ruckus is all about. L had me go in an grab her (since I was going to ride) and let the rest of the mares into the bigger turnout. Holy crap, she was not happy about that. I don't know if she was upset because it was me that took the other horses away or (more likely) she was mad because they got turned out and she had to go work. At this point L and the potential client are standing with Kiki who is acting like a right idiot. Now L doesn't put up with those kind of shenanigans so he was correcting her the whole time. I get through the gate and he hands her off to me and I am hoping she'll just chill out and walk nicely back to the barn She starts running around me in circles, and since I was holding an extra lead rope, I flipped it around and slapped her in the chest...and then, she reared violently yanking the lead rope through my hands at a record pace (I was sure all the skin was gone from my hands**) the only thing saving me here was experience as I let the lead slip through my hands and then got a firm hold pulling her back down to earth (meanwhile she's hopping around threatening to do more damage bucking in place) a few more firm tugs and a "knock it off!" got her listening again, as she dropped her head and sheepishly walked back to the barn. She was still trying my patience acting like a 2 year old, but she knew better than to pull another stunt like that. I wedged my elbow into her neck and pushed against her shoulder reminding her that I would NOT be dragged back to the barn. I was worried I had made a bad impression on the new client, but since he breeds race horses for a living, I am sure what she did was small fries.

I was soooo exhausted after finishing all the chores (I haven't been sleeping well lately) but I knew there was no way I could let her get away with that temper tantrum. She was promptly thrown in a stall while I mucked a few more stalls. I did a super quick groom as it was getting dark and decided to take the stirrups off her saddle (I was simply too tired to ride) and got her working on the lunge line. She was going to work...she was going to work until she looked at me saying "can we stop now?" Then she would work a little more. It simply cannot be up to her when she leaves her field, or when she works, or for how long. I lunged her for 30 minutes total with lots of transitions, she was soaked, and huffing and puffing. I wanted to hop on her and walk her out but this deemed to be a bit difficult with no stirrups and she was not even a little bit cooperative. She started spooking at everything we I tried to hop on, and at one point I got half way, she started walking away and I kind slipped and hit my ribs on the saddle...I winded myself because I broke my ribs a year ago and they are still really sensitive...I gave up and hand walked her.

One step forward, three steps back. Oh the joys of a green horse.

On a side note, we still have some silly ground issues to deal with. When I first started working with she was nearly impossible to bridle, she would throw her head around like a cannonball. I was warned that could easily knock me out if I wasn't paying attention. I am not sure how this behavior developed but I suspect she started using it as an evasion technique and realized it was intimidating. On this front she has gotten much, much better. She drops her head quietly for the bit and is relatively sane while I fasten everything. The issue comes when it's time to do ANYTHING regarding the bridle after that. Attaching side reins, feeding the lunge line through, untying the reins from the throat latch...she turns into a monster. She throws her head around when you get near her and makes it really difficult, especially towards the end of any session. The things is, she's not head shy, she just knows that if she puts up enough fuss you'll stop, so it becomes a battle. She snorts and stamps her front feet in protest. I have learned that sticking with her is the best solution and the faster I can make my adjustments the better. Taking off her bridle is a god damn nightmare, but I have started a little training with her when every time she moves her head I stop (a little different that what I just mentioned, ha!), then I hold my position, ie. I won't pull the bridle over her ears until she'll let me hold onto the bridle near the poll with no fuss. She HAS to learn how to do this quietly or I am going to wind up being the only person that will ride her (it's already that way for the most part). I'm not asking her to do anything complicated, she's not in pain, so she needs to get over it.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about how she will react to someone else working with her. I'd love to see someone else ride her but right now there's not a single person at the barn who will outside of the racehorses exercise rider and he'll ride anything.

**it should be noted, NO skin was removed during this stunt..though I can't feel my finger tips very well and there are some blisters under the skin, my callused hands saved the day.

photoshoppery

bored at work...

inspiration lost in sirens

As embarrassed as I am to admit this, my depression has taken a strangle hold of me once again. I have kept it at bay for almost a year after titrating off meds and generally taking very good care of myself. Lately, everything feels overwhelming and this, the feeling of being overwhelmed, is the one trigger that can send me in to a deep depression. I spent the weekend entirely indoors save for the few hours I was at the farm. I become a hermit when I am depressed. It's awful, I don't get out of my lounge pants, I don't want to walk Hugo, I don't go out for anything. Why am I admitting all of this here? Well, it's beginning to impact my riding in a strange way.

I have always counted on horses to keep me out of trouble. I think most of the blogs I follow are authored by girls much like myself, who at one point or another, needed horses in a way that no human could ever replace. They kept me away from peer pressure, boys, skipping school, and more than anything, they became a huge motivator. My Mom could get me to clean the house top to bottom just for permission to go to the stables. And while she may have exploited this power here and there...I was willing to do anything to ride. Lately, my depression has worsened and I found myself barely excited about going to the farm. In fact, I didn't go Tuesday OR Thursday...so even though I knew I HAD to go this weekend, I didn't feel like it.

Saturday morning I dragged myself out of bed and headed out to the farm reluctantly. Kiki was happy to see me, which always warms my heart (*each and every time she comes to me in the field I remember those moments she had me chasing her and the other mares for 20 minutes just to catch her). The mare likes me...it's quite funny, and I suspect she considers me a herd mate...which may end being a bad thing, but more likely she sees me as a treat factory. I decided to lunge her since I was going to ride indoors (the footing outside is like concrete) and I haven't taken her indoors in a long time, certainly not since her turnout was moved and I wasn't sure if she was going to be goofy...plus she had 5 days off (tsk, tsk). She was fairly good for most of the lunging, and I tightened the side reins so they were actually keeping her in a bit of a frame. It was reassuring to see her relax and use her back, drop her head and let out a few sneezes. I don't do too much on the lunge line because she's still finding her balance and a 20 meter circle can still be a lot to ask of her, so just 5 minutes either way and I hopped on. Well, I guess it's been a long time since I lunged her and then rode, but she felt fantastic! The 10 minutes I spent lunging her in side reins took 20 minutes of riding-a-giraffe-instead-of-a-horse out of our warm up. She was soft, using her back and on the aids almost immediately! She felt lovely and we trotted around on the lovely footing for 45 minutes doing lots of little exercises. It was nice being at the farm alone...riding at noon on a Saturday almost assures me of some quiet time, and it certainly helped my mood a little.

I remained a shut-in for the rest of the weekend until finally Sunday evening I decided to go ride. I was really in a terrible mood and I was moderately worried about how that would effect my ride. One of the things I (and likely lots of other female riders) have struggled with is NOT riding emotionally. I think that athleticism aside, this is the biggest way male and female riders differ...it's why the 18 year old male exercise rider can show up, ride the craziest racehorse-in-training and not even get slightly flustered...while I take it personally when Kiki does something bratty. Here's what happened. Kiki was in the farthest turnout, and although I clearly intruded on her early evening snack, she still greeted me and walked right over. We did much of the same routine as Saturday except I lunged her a little a little longer on each side and asked for some canter departs (*insert crow-hopping here). Once I got on she was again, light and forward and she just felt fantastic. So I started trotting, and trotting, and trotting...circles, transitions, bends, leg yields, more trotting...what had my bad mood allowed me? Tenacity. I rode, and kept riding. My mind was in such turmoil, I wasn't thinking about how long I had been riding, or that my legs were tired from posting, or that it was hot...I just pushed through it. For the first time since I have been riding Kiki she rode consistently at a steady forward pace, she was blowing through her nose with every other stride, and she felt athletic. We felt amazing together. I didn't want to stop, selfishly because I knew that reality would come crashing back...but we had a lovely ride. We cooled down outside and watched the sunset together. For that small chapter of my Sunday evening, Kiki saved me.



I tried to get a few nice photos of her (and being a photographer makes it especially frustrating) so she did her best to make it as challenging as possible. At least she has a sense of humor.

at some point I will update, but for now...a photo

Kiki's weird lump

And here is a photo of it:

We first thought this was maybe a tooth growing in strange. She recently scraped all the hair off catching her halter on something in turnout. I treated the wound which is healing nicely, but the hair still has some growing to do. Any thoughts on what this could be? It's hard and doesn't seem to be painful at all.

I got her to stand still for a few seconds with my thumb next to it for scale.

inspired by: iamthesprinklerbandit.blogspot.com

1. How old were you when you first started riding?

I started riding when I was 4, prompted by my desire to keep up with everything my best friend Christine did.

2. First horse ridden:
Candyman, a shaggy paint pony. I cried when he trotted.

3. First horse trotted on:

Ha, see above...I begged to go back though, despite being allergic to hay, and dust, and horses, and grass, and...you get it.

4. First horse cantered on:
Cleo, a chestnut mare (who knew my life would come full circle)...she packed me around for several year in the Bahamas.

5. First Horse fallen off of:
Sterling, a tiny grey pony (oh weird, a GREY PONY got me off after 11 years of riding). We were doing a jump course and she was incredibly barn sour, during a turn away from the barn she blasted through my outside leg and slipped in the footing near the gate, we both went down, I didn't really have a choice. Yes, I got right back on and finished the course.

6. Most recent horse fallen off of:
Eeek, I am trying to find some wood to touch...I haven't fallen off since I started back riding, and before that, I can hardly remember...riding so many ponies growing up built in a strong knack for STAYING ON. NO. MATTER. WHAT. I did complete an emergency dismount a few weeks ago mid-rear/spook...that counts I guess.


7. Most terrifying fall:

I was once kicked while riding bareback by another horse and subsequently, so was the horse I was riding, she bolted and I fell off/abandoned ship. I remember thinking my leg was broken (my ankle certainly looked that way) and I was scared to death. To this day, one of my biggest fear is horse behavior in close quarters...luckily riding an alpha mare keeps everyone at bay.

8. First horse jumped with:

This is really tough to remember, I know I jumped a lot in England, but substantial jumping...probably Turbo Pony.

9. First horse who ran away with you:

Shamber. The same horse I was on when I got kicked. We were doing a dressage test and she (another barn sour horse) decided she was finished and bolted over the little fence and back to the gate. She had an iron mouth so it was useless trying to stop her. I was mortified.

10. First horse that scared the crap out of you:

It took a really long time for this to happen. When I was young I was completely fearless...but one summer riding in Southern Pines, NC I met a horse that I was completely scared of. He was an OTTB named Tix, nuts after a sinus infection where he had a drain put in his skull, and no one would ride him. After the horse I was riding that summer sold, they put me on him. We bonded in a way I have yet to experience with another horse. There was one day that we were jumping for the first time together and it started to POUR. I could feel his whole body tense up and my instructor told me to expect him to refuse...he didn't. It was a lesson in humility. He was terrifying and beautiful...it's a combination I really enjoy now.


11. First horse shown :

Cleo.

12. First horse to win a class with:

Growing up I had to work to ride and almost always had to catch ride at shows usually on bad ponies that my instructor was offering up for sale. I think the best class I one as a youngster was an equitation class on Tix. Of course he spooked at the ribbon.

13. Do you/have you taken lessons:

I took lessons consistently from 4-19, and for the last 2 years.

14. First horse you ever rode bareback:

Cleo dressed as Maid Marion. But when I lived in England we would ride all the horses bareback in a halter and lead rope to their turnout fields a half a mile down the road (totally reckless looking back), so I rode lots and lots of horses bareback!

15. First horse trail ridden with:

We rode trails quite a bit in Florida, but nothing is like trail riding the therapy horses at Pegasus...there is something magical about galloping a Belgian Draft horse through the woods.

16. Current Barn name:

Should keep this anonymous for now.

17. Do you ride English or western?

English, though I do enjoy riding in a western saddle when I don't want to think about anything else, it's been ages though!

18. First Horse to place at a show with:

Cleo!

19. Ever been to horse camp?

Not as a kid because I never had my own pony, or parents that were really that supportive of my expensive hobby...but this year at the ripe old age of 31, I went on a Ladies Riding Camp in VA...it was NOT expensive, but it was amazing and would recommend the experience to anyone who reads my blog!

20. Ever been to a riding clinic?

I rode in lots of clinics in Florida, but I would love to do some with the mare!

21. Ridden sidesaddle?

Yes! At the recent camp I attended...it's humbling to say the least!

22. First horse leased:

Kiki! I am fairly sure we leased Cleo when I was younger, but I don't remember the financial details!

23. Last Horse Leased:

Kiki! We are a work in progress, plus everyone else is scared of her.

24. Highest ribbon in a show:

Overall highpoint during that summer in North Carolina!

25. Ever been to an ‘A’ rated show?

No, sadly.

26. Ever competed in pony games/relay races?

Yes. Super fun.

27. Ever fallen off at a show:

Never, but then again, I will (try to) stay on no matter what.

28. Do you ride Hunter/Jumpers?

Yes, and I hope Kiki and I can get to some shows doing so before we try eventing!

29. Have you ever barrel raced?

Yes. I used to exercise ride a quarter horse named Rebel who barrel raced...when I would get bored of trying to teach him English we race around for fun.

30. Ever done pole bending?

Nope!

31. Favorite gait:

Definitely canter...just not Kiki's (it makes me feel like a beginner)

32. Ever cantered bareback?

Yes! I love riding bareback and try to take bareback jumping lessons when I can. Nothing makes you more appreciative of your saddle (and stirrups).

33. Have you ever done dressage?

Yes, and I would like to get much, much better!

34. Have you ever evented?

Just cross country jumping, not the full 3-day.

35. Have you ever mucked a stall?

It's the only way I was able to ride horses...40 stall barn? No problem, as long as I get to ride. I have the same barn work ethic now and it still confuses my instructor.

36. Ever been bucked off?

Yes. A thoroughbred named Mr. Wonderful. He snatched the reins and was able to completely bronc across the arena and send me into orbit.

37. Ever been on a horse that reared:

yes...and it's my number one fear. Cleo once reared when I was 6-7 at a horse that was bolting around the ring. Kiki has offered a couple but nothing too big.

38. Horses or ponies:

Well, ponies made me the rider that I am today. I will always have a soft spot for them. Until I was 16 and went to North Carolina for the summer I rode ponies almost exclusively for my instructor getting the them into shape, but I do love horses, the bigger the better! Kiki rides like a pony so maybe that's why I love her!

39. Do you wear a helmet?

Always.

40. What’s the highest you’ve jumped:

A little over 4 foot. Again, the summer in NC that made me brave riding giant horses (they weren't giant, but huge for me coming off ponies). That instructor really pushed me as a rider and took advantage of my fearlessness. Now a 2'6" vertical makes me a little queasy...but I love, love, love jumping.

41. Have you ever ridden at night?

Yes, lots of places I have ridden at have lighting, but last spring our trail ride got really late and we got caught in the darkness...it was both lovely and terrifying riding through the woods like that.

42. Do you watch horsey television shows?

I taped Rolex, and used to watch Jockeys...now I just troll youtube and read horse blogs.

43. Have you ever been seriously hurt/injured from a fall?

Just the fall where I got kicked.

44. Most falls in one lesson:

I got dumped a couple of times schooling a horse over a ditch...I got a good view of the inside of it too.

45. Do you ride in an arena/ring?

My current farm has a nice indoor with lights and an outdoor riding "space" It's a big field flanked on either long side with paddocks...I like it out there.

46. Have you ever been trampled by a horse?

No, but it worries me sometimes when I am handling youngsters.

47. Have you ever been bitten?

A lot. Some of the horses at the Equine Therapy center release their frustration by biting the handlers, and apparently my forearm is pretty damn tasty. Kiki gets pretty mouthy, but I am trying to stop that habit!

48. Ever had your foot stepped on by a horse?

Again, lots. The worst was last year by Sergio (my favorite mount at the therapy center)who's belgian/haflinger...he broke my pinky toe stepping on my foot and then twisting into a stall to grab hay. Nerd.

49: Favorite riding moment:

Wow, it would be hard to commit to just one. Most recently it would be riding the big event mare in Virginia. She was just amazing and we jumped everything we could find together.

50. Most fun horse you’ve ridden:

I think I will have to give this to Turbo Pony...that little guy and I rode together for so long my instructor stopped letting me ride him in lessons (because I wasn't learning anything)...he would jump anything...even the largest cross country jumps we had on the property...it makes me really love the spirit of a small horse (like Teddy O'Connor or Snooze Alarm)

stick-o-persuasion gets an upgrade

I have been feverishly reading horse blogs all day instead of working (tsk, tsk) and I have decided that tonight I will ride Kiki with a dressage whip. If I never post here again, you know know something went terribly wrong...I am certain she'll be good. I may also film my ride, I haven't done that in ages.

ok, off to the farm!

How I let go to get her back

Words to live by:

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...You must do the thing you think you cannot do. -Eleanor Roosevelt

I know I have been a bit absent in updating, but I thought that writing about each ride would somehow get painfully boring...then I discovered a blog that I read from start to finish (http://rockandracehorses.wordpress.com/) and was inspired by not only her amazing photography, but her calculated way of keeping notes on each and every training ride. I can't say I will ever have that kind of dedication but I really should write more often.

A few weeks ago I was riding outside and Kiki was just fighting me every step. I had given her a few days off and she was not keen about having to work and she insisted on being a giraffe and running around leaning on my hands inverted (if that's even possible). We had brief moments where I pushed her forward enough that she finally relaxed her head, then her neck, and finally her back, but it would be for just a few strides...then back to the fight. I know it's only been a few months of training, but I felt like I was at an impasse with her...why couldn't she just relax and stop fighting, why can't she carry herself around without leaning on me and stop relying on her forehand? Is she lazy...yes...I think often horses that are young and out of shape will try to go the easy route...but she's getting a little more fit and come on, I have seen her out in the pasture carrying herself around beautifully, flying lead changes and all...but all the leg in the world won't get her to move out, or off my leg (that is another fight) and even a small smack with a crop will some times send her into a fit of crow hopping and defiance. What is confusing about her is that she IS actually sensitive to aids...when I first get on I don't let my calves really touch her sides because she is so sensitive, as we start our walk warm up I gradually increasing my leg on her, wrapping her barrel with my calves and asking her quietly to step under and use her hind end. I digress, but on this particular day another girl was cooling down her mare and she said, "have you ever trotted her around on a loose rein?" Ha! Loose rein? Are you nuts? So she can grab the bit and buck me off? No way! Wait...what WOULD happen if I did just that? I don't have to make my reins 6 feet long, I can lengthen them without throwing them away, so let's see what she'll do. It wasn't until the next ride that I tried this and after we warmed up a little, I let the reins slip through my fingers and stopped holding her. She sucked back, I pushed her on, she trotted around choppy with her head up, I pushed even more, she lengthened her trot and dropped her head -- FINALLY! I asked for more and more trot, posting light and big, staying out of her way and forcing her to hold herself up. She seemed confused that I wasn't supporting her, but she met me half way and that's really all I wanted. I knew she wasn't going to run away with me (that would be entirely too much work) but I was concerned she'd fall flat on her face without support from me. she didn't try to crow hop or buck, never shook her head in defiance, didn't throw a temper tantrum and seemed to enjoy her new found freedom with me on board.

After riding her that way for a few days I had a lesson where B had me work on trot lengthening and collecting and she was floored by the difference. She asked me what I was doing differently and I said, "I had to let go to get her back." I explained my a-ha! moment riding alone and how it was making sense and she was thrilled to see me apply it in the lesson. The end of that lesson involved Kiki down right refusing to pick up her right lead canter and building up into a huge explosion...B saw it brewing and had me give her a good swat with the crop, much to Kiki's disliking represented by a series of bucks and leaps almost getting me off. I think Kiki has finially figured out that I WILL NOT give up and will push through even the biggest tantrum and, when needed, the dreaded stick-of-persuasion can back me up!

Fear manifests itself differently for each rider...I would say that my biggest fear (outside of a horse with a rearing problem) is contemplating the "what ifs" when I ride. I figured out through this little exercise that I have to trust the relationship I have built with this mare and consider those what ifs, and push through to the other side. The only thing I can count on is this moment, right now, on her back...not what will happen in 5 or 10 minutes, or if a deer bursts out of the woods, or a horse bolts, if the hay truck arrives, or her friends get turned out while we're riding...I have to rely on this moment. I cannot be defeated by the possibility of what MIGHT happen. I can only try.

oh Kiki

new books!

I received 101 Dressage Exercises, 101 Jumping Exercises, and The Rider Fitness Program (this one I am most excited about)...there will be posts about how Kiki and I get through these together!

emergency dismount

Today I headed to the farm early to go over some of the little things for my farm-sit this week. It's about one million degrees in Philadelphia and the humidity is completely out of control...we've had crazy thunderstorms for over 24 hours but there has been little reprieve in the temperature. B was running behind on some chores so I started helping out right away. She was kind enough to print a VERY thorough set of instructions for am/pm barn activities. And then she wrote lots and lots of notes. So I think tomorrow I will bring that to work and rewrite it in more of a checklist format. I have done most of the chores already, save for walking a few of the babies in and out...oh, and then there's the new mare hanging out on stall rest...she's the kind of horse that scrapes her teeth across the gate at you...MEAN!!! You have to feed her in a tub and slide it under the door like she's a prison inmate! So I fed everyone, switched some horses in turnout, even taking two of the biggest boys out together (luckily they are both big goobers), and mucked some stalls to help B get ready for her first lesson. Before I knew it I was grabbing Kiki from her field and getting ready. I was riding with 3 other girls who are all terrific riders and since they are getting ready to head to a show on Saturday, we were going to work on dressage. Kiki warmed up sooooo quietly, really giving to my leg and soft and supple in the bridle. I was hopeful that we would have a really nice ride...and then...L comes in with the "colt" (he's not a colt anymore but he was starved and mistreated, and came to us as a stallion at 2 years old and now he's getting broke for the track) Anyway, he nuts...you can lead him, pet him, hose him, whatever...but he has really resisted being ridden...once, after weeks and weeks of training with a western saddle, he was backed with an english saddle, it may have even been a training saddle, he freaked out and jumped over a paddock fence trying to get the saddle away from him to no avail. After that, he calmed down a bit, accepted our exercise rider (who has balls of steel and a butt made of velcro) and has been doing fairly well since then. He came into the arena acting like a maniac -- I think the big drop in barometric pressure had something to do with it -- the rider got on and he lost it. We were all at the other end of the arena and I pointed Kiki at him and kept walking so she had something to do...it got worse and all of the horses in my lesson freaked and did some sort of a rear, spin, buck so we decided to go to the outdoor and as we left the arena, the colt burst into another fit...I was walking behind a big gelding and Kiki didn't trust him to follow, so she stopped, the mare next to me who lives off property freaked, the dominant gelding behind me lost his mind and Kiki went into a bucking/rearing fit, during which I saw every possible outcome flash in front of me. Did I mention I was now wedged up against the back of a pick up truck? At one point during this debacle, I started an emergency dismount whisking my right leg out of the stirrup and over her neck, then I changed my mind when she put her feet back down and I sat back down, then I decided to get off...I think it was the best decision. I wasn't sure what was going on behind me, or what would happen next, I figured I could at least throw the reins over her head and stand out of the way. We all recovered, B came out to see what happened and we headed over to the outdoor. I knew I was going to get back on (of course) but she was really amped up now. She started spinning around and throwing herself everywhere because she was so worked up, no one could get near her so I had to work her in small circles just to get her focus on something else. I opted not to canter her, especially since L brought the colt out to walk around us, put he started posturing and getting nutty so they took him away. Then one of her mares came out for the next lesson and I could barely get her to move forward. We finally got a nice, big, moving trot with some focus. I think my instructor was a bit disappointed that I didn't push myself (or Kiki) more, but I wasn't up for it today. It was too damn hot, I was too stressed out after the craziness, and I wanted her to end on a really positive note. We went back inside and I rode a basic dressage test foiled by Charlie (big gelding) knocking over a blue barrel and spooking the crap out of Kiki...oh well. I am still pleased with not getting totally mauled and having her get through all of the mayhem.

I stuck around and watched another lesson and decided that I need to take a lesson on one of the fun school horses so I can remind myself that I AM a good rider. That's what going to Virginia did for me, and maybe it's good to tap in to that every once an awhile. Riding a green horse can really make you doubt yourself.

I am looking forward to spending lots of quality time with her during my visit!

the mares get a new turnout

I arrived at the barn Sunday evening to ride and B and L were in the middle of rearranging the horses and their turnout spaces. They didn't move the mares that night, but their new space is where the school geldings are currently. One of them hurt himself maybe two weeks ago (*I don't think I wrote about this yet)...he's a small black thoroughbred gelding who is super fun to ride named Bucky (a very silly name for a horse that is an angel). L was feeding the boys who were grazing in the aisle attached to their paddock and Bucky, who can be a bit of a grump at feeding, decided to push past L and into the aisle, immediately realizing he was free, he bolted -- the mares in the adjacent field got riled up and he took off toward the barn. At this point he could have turned toward the barn (or the driveway -- yikes), or make a hard left half way and turn into the outdoor riding area, which he did...heading straight at another big turnout where two yearling colts live. He ran head first into their fence...full speed...needless to say he was caught shortly after in pretty dire shape. He needed over 100 stitches to close up his chest and leg and there lacerations in his groin that couldn't be stitched up. He had a drain put in and is obviously going to be recovering for quite some time. He has since ripped out the drain and the wound on his chest is more or less a big open gash that is pretty gruesome. Bucky is being fairly good about his treatment, and will hopefully make a full recovery. It certainly could have ended much worse...and L said if it had been Kiki they would have returned from the vet with an empty trailer (I think he was just winding me up, maybe)...but now they are down another school horse which puts lots of pressure on Kiki and I to get our act together. I know there's really nothing we can do NOW, per se, but it would be nice for her to be used in some lessons maybe next spring. I alone have brought 6 riders with me to their farm and I know they are pretty busy this summer. It will be nice when she and a few of the other green beans are more stable. There's a little girl who just started riding there who reminds me so much of myself as a youngster and she grew up riding all the bad ponies like me...B and I have decided she'd make a great rider for Kiki next spring!

Phew, I digress...turnouts...so now that Bucky is staying inside, it makes more sense for the two remaining geldings to be in turnouts closer to the barn that are a bit smaller and for the girls to have the really big turnout further away...Kiki's herdmates include a retired horse and a racehorse in training so only Kiki and one other mare are used frequently. It will be pretty interesting to see how far she'll make me go to catch her in the new space and whether or not the distance from her mares will help with any remaining herd bound issues. She has come so far with all of that nonsense and I hope we don't regress! There was a time where she would scream and holler and throw herself all over the place to figure out where they were...she rarely does that now. Sometimes she lets out these half-hearted whinnies that just makes me laugh. So Sunday I took it a bit easy on her since she was so good on Thursday and I lunged her briefly before hopping on. She doesn't really need to be lunged, but it's been a little while since we did (beside a few days ago) and I wanted to see where her balance was at now -- plus the last time I lunged her a month or so ago we got into a stand off where B had to step in and take over...it was the first time I really saw B get her serious horse-face on and it was impressive! Tracking left she's great...we did lots of transitions up and down and she was just lovely and quiet. Switch the lunge rope over, she scoots away from me and starts cantering...ugh. At this point she has 5 ft of line to work with, silly girl. I push her out and the second I pick up the whip she bolts...here's the thing, I have never cracked that whip anywhere near her...I just use it to guide her out and to keep her moving forward, she was being ridiculous. What I did notice after she settled in to a 20 meter shape (I won't say circle) is that she doesn't want to carry herself in that small of a space at the trot, and the same place each time she would break into 4-5 strides of canter, then I'd bring her back to trot, rinse, repeat...over and over. I was a bit disconcerting to see her fall into the circle and break into an unbalanced canter...but it makes sense to see it now after so much work under saddle. She really struggles balancing herself tracking right and the only way that is going to get any better is with lots and lots of riding and strengthening. I got on and worked on some leg yield exercises that we did in our lesson Tuesday and she was moving off my leg really nicely. We walked outside because it had rained for two days straight so the ground was no longer concrete. It was a bit of a fight to keep her attention on me and I felt like she was just trotting around like a giraffe. She naturally has a nice way of carrying herself and even if I give her all the reins she fights me...it can be quite frustrating. We did have a few nice moments out there and one of the advanced girls commented on how nice she looked. She was setting up some jumps for her lease ride and had me help her with striding. She had never really learned how to count strides (which I think is a bit nuts) but she set up two jumps fairly close together and asked me what it looked like, and I said...hm, a short 4 or long 3. Then she asked me how to count and she paced it out and I was exactly right...ha! But I told her she should make it a 2/3 stride so she can work on lengthening and collection between the jumps. The horse she leases is lovely and has a big jump, but she has a tendency to chip in instead of taking the long spot. So a little more trotting around for us and I decided to take Kiki on a little hack around the property because I knew she'd start getting goofy when the other horse came out to ride. I've only ridden around the property once with her and I was with my instructor and a schoolmaster as the leader, but she was really listening to me, so I figured I'd try. What's great about the barn I ride at is that there are LOTS of things that they horses there get over that would scare most...for example, a giant white tarp covering a building next to the barn, a jungle gym set up next to the outdoor riding area, wild turkeys that lurk in the bushes, goats that live on the farm, oh...and a pool with a slide in the yard that meets up with the barn entrance! So we just started walking...past the goats (she lives next to them so nothing new there), over to the broodmares and the babies, she looked (because she has to challenge everyone), continued on...now this is where I got a little nervous. Now we were leaving all the horses and heading away from the barn in the opposite direction. She got a little light on her feet, but never actually started jigging. Beauty (the bane of my existence) started calling to her and even though she called back she still held it together. We turned left and headed parallel to the property where see saw the geldings up on the left. I don't think she recognized them at first because she seemed to get her underwear in a bunch. We walked past them and headed back toward the barn passing her field last. There is a teeny, tiny part of me that thought she might spook and bolt (even thought she never has) to get home, but the more we walked the quieter she got and the looser the reins became. I was really proud of her and of myself for just sticking with her.

And what good ride would be complete without some bad behavior? She proceeded to act like an idiot on the ground, even threatening to kick me when I removed her saddle (something that seems to be getting worse) and that kind of activity will not be tolerated! We had a bit of a discussion about her getting hosed off but I came through on top.

I really hate the stupid halter that's on her now...even though it's fairly good quality she gets soooo dirty that I have to pull it over her head because the buckles get so dry. I think it's time to get her one of her own! She already has so many silly issues with her head the last thing I need is to be fighting with a halter as I trying to bridle her!

**In other super fun news I am farm-sitting Thursday and Friday for B and L! They are heading to the beach and I will be staying there to watch over everyone. I am a little nervous, but I know the horses really well and their schedules, so we are going over turnout/feed stuff tomorrow for a bit before my lesson, which should be a piece of cake since I help feed almost every time I am there. It's going to be so lovely to wake up on the farm and walk a few feet to feed the horses! I have never been so excited to muck stalls! When you grow up working to ride that work ethic sticks...it's rare that you will ever find me twiddling my thumbs around the farm!

***I am going to bring my camera so I can take loads of photos of everything!