This post is dedicated to Klein Mare!

There's only one true draft horse at the farm and he's got a GIGANTIC personality. Anyone who has spent any time around drafts will tell you they are (quite literally) larger than life. My experience at Pegasus exercise riding Belgians and Percherons (and subsequently getting my riding "sea" legs back in a hurry 2 years ago) gave me a serious understanding of just how smart these gentle giants are.

When we played bobbing for apples on Saturday, it was clear that Major felt like he was surrounded by amateurs. He waited patiently for his turn (last -- as usual, he's very low on the totem pole in his herd) after watching the others really struggle with the task...he more or less strolled up, brushed his shoulders off and got into the game. He took a quick drink, and grabbed an apple, first try, and under 30 seconds. Maybe it doesn't seem like it's that hard to do, but let me tell you...5 horses went before him and couldn't figure it out. Not even a little bit. He might be the oldest, the chubbiest, maybe the slowest, but that horse...he is ALL heart. And, he's no dummy...he's the only horse (at this farm) to refuse a jump (**on two separate occasions) during a lesson with me...and I was bareback! Sneaky bugger.

Here's the video:

Wellington, Saratoga, I never really knew ya.

I needed to do something before SAD kicks into high gear. The sun's low placement in the sky and the shorter days all indicated that winter was knocking quietly at the front door.

I had two weeks off of riding, rather unexpectedly, as my life became intensely busy. I think the break was healing for me, allowing me to think internally about what my next move should be. I had investigated the possibilities nearby for a new place to ride. I still may pursue some of them, but for now, I am staying put at my current barn. I realized last night that I DO feel warm and welcome when I am there. I DO think everyone is handling me with kid gloves about Kiki, and I respect that. But they are also being extremely kind and generous, they certainly don't want me to leave. I think for a minute, I let myself believe they were shipping Kiki off because I wasn't a good enough rider, or they didn't trust me, or worse. I know, it's silly...but your mind goes into terrible negative places when you are down. I have always been very hard on myself, and something like this would only make me examine myself with a microscope. After a really good lesson last night, B broke the news to me that they may have found a new home for Kiki. A girl in her early 20's (I think a working student) came to ride her with a trainer friend. The trainer adored the mare (and also rode her). Kiki pulled her usual antics, but they girl stuck it out and was hardly fazed by any of her behavior. She decided she would like to come back to spend the next few days at the farm with B and L to get to know Kiki a little better and ride her for a few days in a row. If things go well, she'll be loaded up Saturday on her way to a beautiful facility in Wellington, Fl. So, we'll see. B said she'd call me Thursday to let me know how things are going. As much as I am still very sad about her, I think this new home sounds ideal. The girl would be living on property and would be able to ride her everyday. It's a barn filled with people showing on the hunter circuit and I think Kiki will be thrilled. I am really happy that if she does go, I'll get to say goodbye on Saturday. I had already made plans to be there to photograph everyone's Halloween costumes and ride, so hopefully with all that going on, I won't get too sad.

In other news, I think I've decided to lease another horse. Part of my depression was fueled by the feeling of not having a project. As much as I like going out for 2 lessons a week on various horses -- which is great for my riding, it's not terribly cost effective, nor does it feel fulfilling for me. I still really want to get back into showing and I need a horse that can take me there. Someone athletic, gutsy, and forward...enter, Arizona. Roughly 16 hand chestnut OTTB (from Saratoga). He's one of B's personal horses (I think he's 14, but he acts 6) and he is lightly used in the lesson program with some of the advanced girls. He's a flashy horse with three white socks and a big blaze, and well, um...a chestnut's personality. How can I put this lightly...'he doesn't play well with others' -- another dominant chestnut, I must be nuts. He has a huge personality, the kind of horse that walks into an arena and demands to be noticed. On top of that, he has a brain that is thinking constantly, and you have to be faster than he is to ride him well. Sure, he'll putz around with his head in the air like a giraffe for anyone, but he'll move out, back swinging with contact if you ask him the right way. He is superbly adjustable, a really neat horse to ride as you can nearly see the gears turning in his brain. And can he jump? Holy moly this horse can jump...knees up to his chin and all heart. I cannot wait. So B and I made it our goal to get him to the 3 foot division together by spring. Nothing's official just yet, but I knew she was throwing him my way for a reason. The girl that was leasing him decided to switch to a bit of an easier horse and so he's open again. When I brought it up last night B just kinda smirked and said she was glad I was thinking about it. She knew that if she could make it seem like my idea it would work *she missed her calling as a therapist. I would have never wanted to lease him if she had pushed in the wake of Kiki's departure.

So, onward...a new journey, with a new chestnut. My very first (horse) love was a chestnut mare named Cleo when I started riding for the first time in the Bahamas. I guess we are meant to be together.

And here are a few photos of the new mount (and not me riding):

Life has a funny way of showing you things

I took this weekend off in order to have a little mental break from all of my anxiety surrounding horses. I know, I should be over the whole Kiki debacle. But I'm not, and I will likely be feeling the sting of her absence for quite some time. I am sentimental to a fault. Part of me wishes that she was already at a new home, so I didn't have to hear her whinny at me across 33 acres. I want her to get into steady work again -- and soon, before she gets too comfortable out in the field. Just bringing her in and lunging her last Tuesday was um, entertaining, to say the least. Never in my life have I seen her leap that far off the ground with all four feet and deliver a bronco style buck that any cowboy would be grateful for. She actually came up a little off after a few good moves like that. We finished up and I trotted her up and down the driveway so B could get a look at her. Yep, she was off alright. Silly girl. She was a complete love bug for grooming and made an effort to solicit petting and scratches from anyone in the vicinity.

I have been thinking a lot about trying out a few new instructors. Not because I don't adore mine (because I do), but because I am having a hard time being there while Kiki is still sort of in the picture. Training that mare was such a huge part of my life. Let's recap: I don't own a car and when given the opportunity to work with this psychotic mare, I figured out a way to get to the stables (35 miles away) 4 times a week. I work full time and have a dog and a home to take care of and managed to still have a fairly good social life. Working with that mare meant complete sacrifice on my part, and I was willing to do whatever it took to see her through. On top of all of that, I put my own riding aside to train HER. In the process I lost much of my finesse to staying on and moving her forward. I know that ultimately, I learned more about my riding by working with her, but I know that if I had been riding a more seasoned horse 4 times a week, I'd be much further along than I am now. *sigh*

So that leaves me here, questioning if I should go take some lessons some place else. B and L have certainly afforded me great opportunities there, and I know that will always be my 'home' barn, but I think for myself, I should try to find a barn that is geared a little more towards my goals. I think part of my issue is that I am at least 10 years older than most of the people that ride there (in fact, I would guess maybe 15 years older) and if there are people closer to my age, they either lease or own horses, so I'm a bit of an outcast. Riding Kiki let me feel more at home there, more comfortable with the other people putting in loads of hours with their horses. I think seeing all of Kiki's stuff hung on a hook away from the regular tack -- with my stuff piled together in the corner -- made it all hit home. We don't have a space there anymore. I am just someone who takes lessons now.

There are a few places nearby -- one where a good friend takes dressage lessons with a terrific instructor that I have heard great things about, and two event instructors within the same distance as my current place. I think I should take a lesson at each place and just see how it feels.

In reference to this blog title, I am always floored by how life shows you things just when you need them. I've been meeting new people every week as the new guy and I get to know each other and he was especially excited to introduce me to a friend of his who is 'into horses too'. I like that blanket statement, because at the core, it IS true, I will probably get excited about anyone into horses. But what are the chances they are interested in English riding, or better yet, eventing??? He had mentioned that she was looking to buy a new horse and that maybe Kiki would be a suitable mount...ha, I thought.

So Friday rolls around and I am out late in the city (since I decided to take Saturday off) and we end up meeting up with her, her boyfriend and a few other friends. We get introduced and immediately start talking horses, and she began showing me pictures of her new acquisition, a leggy chestnut colt from Philadelphia Park (he will of course be gelded soon). And so I inquired, what kind of riding do you do? (It was clear she had been out of riding for quite some time, she and a friend had decided to purchase this horse together (one financially backing and the other training him).

Wait for it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
She replies, "I competed in three day eventing, through the advanced level'. I am certain, the look on my face was hilarious as I stood there trying to maintain my cool and not ask her ONE MILLION questions. So I casually asked her if she had the new horse vetted, and where she was planning on boarding him etc. I just added her on facebook, and then found this:




Yea, that's Rolex, in 1999. I nearly fell out of my chair at work.

I am hoping to get to know her MUCH better, obviously, and who knows, perhaps her purchase of this new prospect means an easier transition for to me start training at a new barn -- she wants to keep him at an event barn obviously.

Total new (horse) friend crush!

re-channeling my energy

Lately between work and what has been going on with Kiki, I'm feeling overwhelmed at the end of every night. I've been trying to figure out a way to channel my energy into worthwhile projects...and as a result Hoof Woof Images was created. I suppose working professionally as a photographer has made me forget that I actually can take good photos of things other than rare books. In fact, I am REALLY good...if anything, I am a little rusty technically, but that will all come back with time and execution. So, yesterday I had a photo session with two wonderful horses and their very kind owner (who will hopefully hire me to photograph her two dogs in the future) and here are a few samples:

Oh Kiki

Today I went to the farm to take photos for her sale ad. It was pretty devastating to say the least. I had a lesson on Charlie, a big dark bay gelding and it was like driving a sports car. I felt like a fantastic rider. B and I had a really good conversation about Kiki and while there were lots of tears involved, I completely support her decision. There will always be another horse, another project.

She whinnied for me across the field when I went to grab her and I nearly fell apart.

it's over.

I just got off the phone with my instructor, they are going to find a new home for her. She acted so purposefully dangerous Tuesday and that's it. She's leaving. The show I thought I might ride in tomorrow was canceled (not relating to Kiki or her behavior) and so I was calling to check in about having a lesson on her tomorrow. Certainly not the conversation I expected.

I just spent a half hour crying hysterically at work in the photo studio, so if I say any more right now, it's just going to start again.

I will most likely not get to ride her again before she leaves. Tomorrow B asked if I would take confirmation photos of her. I think she felt terrible at the end of the conversation and I just sat their silent, holding back a million tears.

Now what?

crash and burn

Since my last post I've hardly ridden Kiki...there was a huge thunderstorm on Thursday so I didn't even leave the city...and thank god...B told me it was like armegeddon out there, they even lost power. I went out Saturday for a make-up lesson and to work on fitting her saddle. Our customizable Mattes pad arrived and I was eager to try it on her and figure out the saddle issues once and for all. B had me stand behind her on a stool so I could see just how uneven her shoulders are. I was shocked. I feel partially responsible for it because I have intentionally avoided her right side in training, especially at the canter. But I know it's really NOT my fault. All horses are asymmetrical, and it would be a perfect world if a medium-wide (AND VERY COMFORTABLE) Albion could fit more than one horse there. She had a full week off when I saw her Saturday but she was dead quiet. She was happy to see me and I took my time grooming her since I got to the barn VERY early for my lesson. Then B and I spent the next 2 hours trying to fit the saddle. I warmed her up on the longe line, got on and trotted her around and the saddle immediately started slipping off to the right. B came in and we removed the tack, put some shims in the pad, and started again...rinse, lather, repeat...over and over. It was, if anything, a good tolerance test for Kiki. At first she was giving B and I the stink eye over all the fuss, but when she realized we weren't heading back into the barn when I dismounted she quietly stood and watched the two of us fool around with the silly white pad. We settled on the idea that the saddle itself may be a little uneven and that it's possible TOO wide. We got fairly close with the shim-pad combination, but it still slipped off to the right. You could actually see her evading the saddle when tracking left. Ouch. B put a call in to try another med-wide saddle (this time a County) owned by one of her students. She was going to ride Kiki the next day it in to see how she felt. I am certain that County saddle is wayyy out of my budget and I know they have it up for sale since it doesn't fit her mare anymore. What a dilemma. Kiki rides SO much better since we put her in a wider saddle, I just want to keep moving forward. **Kiki was ridden in the County on Sunday with just a fleece half pad and a regular square pad and she was a superstar B said. She had a jumping lesson and was fantastic, no stops or hesitation!

If there is one thing that mare has going for her it's soundness. Reading lots and lots of horse blogs every day I feel grateful for that more than anything. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for all of the riders here who are tormented with soundness issues and mystery problems. If only our horses could talk to us -- what would they say??? Kiki is, above everything else, one of the most sound horses I've ever met -- and if she were my horse, she'd be barefoot.

But me? Well, that's another issue entirely. I am accident prone and a self-proclaimed klutz. When I fall, I fall hard...not unlike a giant sack of potatoes with no self-control. It's amazing I am have not come off her with everything she's offered in the way of goofiness, but apparently I am good at staying on, period. Otherwise, I am certain I wold have been sent into orbit plenty of times by now. Statistically, I am overdue for a fall from a horse...I had an 11 year streak once. For those of you that don't know, I live 45 minutes-hour from the farm in downtown Philadelphia. Big city, and the living is easy, er....sometimes. I ride my bike to work which is about 1.5 miles, a 7 minute bike ride when I am going at a leisurely pace. There are bike lanes nearly the whole way (though I am very acclimated to riding in full traffic patterns) so it's relatively safe. As far as bike riding in the city goes, my route to and from work is barely a blip on the danger scale...I have ridden in crazy alley cats (semi-illegal bike races around the city), to and from the suburbs in search of fine beer (once we did 82 miles in one day), and up and down almost every street in every neighborhood with buses and crazy drivers everywhere...probably my biggest fear as a cyclist is the inevitable "DOORING" that seems to happen to everyone at some point. You know, a careless driver opens the door while an unsuspecting bike rider careens into it with no time to stop. Shudder. So you would think that a woman pushing her toddler in a stroller at 9 am (granted she was jay walking) through a crosswalk would be a non-issue. HA! (Insert my bad accident proneness here) Part of being a skilled rider in the city is being able to time the trajectory of all the obstacles you have to tango with en route. Traffic patterns, cabs taking up too much space, buses stopping to pick up new fares, and the arch nemesis of bikers everywhere, the unaware pedestrian. I saw this woman scurrying across the walkway against traffic as I moved from the bike lane all the way over to the left lane to turn north...I thought nothing of it since there was no oncoming traffic and people often cross against the light...so in my mind -- as I have done a million times before -- I contemplated where she SHOULD be when I arrive at the intersection (much like counting strides) I push on making my left and WAIT!!! she's stuck at the end of the cross walk, the stroller caught on the side of the curb -- she shouldn't be there, she needs to move or I'm going to -----

----- hit her -----

bike stops abruptly (it's a fixed gear with no ability to coast)...flips over itself launching me into the intersection. I land, bracing myself lightly with my hands, and then take the impact on my elbow, hip, and knee, roll over and sit up now facing oncoming traffic. I managed to be quite graceful in my somersaulting even protecting my face and head enough that my glasses stayed on. I finally got up (and was yelled at by 2 drivers and one cabbie for being in the road) and took inventory of the damages. Skinned knees? Check, what else is new. Broken elbow? Maybe. Yikes. Another cyclist stopped to help and walked with me to my office where I cleaned myself up a little and iced my elbow all day. One thing about living in the big city...there is very good health care to rely on here, however emergency rooms are like mini-purgatories and I would almost rather amputate my arm with a plastic fork than have to go to one. Don't get me wrong, if I was gushing blood or hit my head or if there was an obvious protruding bone, I would go in a second, that's what great health insurance is for. But I am going to stick with my wait-and-see theory for now. I found a few more points of impact last night (my hip especially) and the swelling at my elbow has gone down a bit. I woke up around 5 in excruciating pain though, but I'm not sure if I just rolled over on it, or what. It looks pretty gross, and I can't straighten it out, but I think that's because of the scab. More ice, a little more time and I will make a decision.

What does this have to do with Kiki? Well, I was supposed to have a lesson on her tonight but I think I should cancel. The little kid on me just wants to go, but I have a feeling B will take one look at my elbow and refuse. My shoulders are killing today, I guess from taking the force of the impact and I can hardly lift my arms. I feel like the muscles in my left shoulder are seizing up. Ugh. I am not sure what this means for the show either. I can't ride her again until Saturday because of my schedule and I'm not sure I will be strong enough then or if B would even risk me riding her off property injured...and well, if my elbow IS broken I'll be in a cast anyway.

Here's a photo of my elbow from last night:

I've lost my finesse

In the process of training (I use that term loosely) Kiki, I have apparently lost my finesse. I am not really sure I had much to begin with and now, it appears it has completely disappeared. I started adding a lesson on a school horse to my regime because I suspected that something like this might be occurring. I knew that by getting on a well trained horse, all of my flaws would come to the surface...and quickly! So, Tuesday I had a lesson on Bucky. He's a fantastic school horse, but not an easy ride. He's a bit of a grump and will expose your shortcomings if you don't ask him for things nicely. That being said, you could put any beginner on him and he'd trot around without a care in the world. He raced for 8 years and was a fox hunting horse in VA, coming to us from Betsy and Jackie who I spent a week with back in June. Jackie still talks fondly of Bucky, aka...King of Thunder (we all get a big kick out of his show name).

I digress...I rode in a lesson with some of the younger girls and we worked on a few exercises that would force us to use lots of small aids rather than big movements...I had a really difficult time adjusting myself to a new horse even though Bucky and Kiki are fairly similar in shape and size. I've always prided myself on being a fairly quiet rider with light hands, asking only for the horse to meet me half way. I guess after 5 months of riding Kiki around and holding her up, I have become a nagging, flailing, leaning, unbalanced mess. Everything I was doing on Bucky was TOO much...save for the fact that he needs a lot more "go" leg than she does (she need much more lateral leg aids). He kept looking back at me in frustration, but as the lesson progressed I got lighter, asked more quietly and responded by being softer and more forward. And then, our canter exercise...ahem, it was a disaster. I know Bucky can be a little goofy picking up his left lead (as in, he sort hops into it) so I figured we go in that direction first. The exercise was a 20 meter circle with 4 poles at 90 degree angles to each other around the outside


So, simple enough...trot the circle, pick up the canter and canter the circle...ha, I almost got bucked off goosing him into the canter. He's like, "oh, you want to ask me with all that leg, well...ok!" Hop, buck, canter, trot, hop...ugh...messy...try again, hop, lose my right stirrup...what the hell...I was riding like a beginner. I regrouped and asked nicely, and we stepped off into a beautiful canter, completing the exercise with no trouble. But what a mess! It was then that B told me I had lost my finesse. Hopefully I can regain some of it...I mean, how am I supposed to go in the Hunter Show ring riding like 13-year old on a bad pony? That's never going to work.

Tonight I have a lesson on Kiki and I am really looking forward to it. I am a little nervous since I haven't ridden her since Saturday, but I think she's keep it together. Our Smartpak order just got here! So we have a new adjustable Mattes pad to try, and...a SHOW HELMET & gloves!!!!!!!!

Finally, here's Bucky looking handsome at the dressage show just before he took home reserve champion...he's also our trailer buddy, much to Lindsey's chagrin as she'd rather jump off a cliff than be anywhere near Kiki. We'll win her over soon enough -- she's our semi-private lesson partner now!

I've got my eye on you

Nothing around the farm goes on without at least a little supervision from Kiki. For instance, when we were setting up jumps all over the property line the only horse who stopped grazing and watched us was Kiki. I guess that's why she's the herd leader. Someone commented on my facebook photos of her today saying that she must always be in a good mood because her ears are always pricked forward...I explained she's just a busy-body who has to know about everything. She's beyond interested.

I love this photo of her, it's Elisabeth riding her for the first time when they used her for games during the event camp. She cooled her out and walked her over to where I was sitting. Look at her expression, and see if you can tell EXACTLY who she is staring at. I think I belong to her now. Uh Oh.

in the beginning...

...I would get one good day for every 4 bad ones with Kiki. I braced myself every moment for impending bad behavior and she rarely let me down...often surpassing my worst nightmare. But, we've made progress, and one of the beautiful things about working with her all these months is that now, while she may offer up a day of bad behavior, it's generally book-ended by several days (sometimes weeks) of I'm-trying-my-best-to-please-you behavior. So, despite her antics Thursday night, where a 20 degree drop in temperature paired with a ghost town feeling at the barn led to her nearly running me over several times and spookiness that only a 2 year old racehorse might possess...I arrived to a perfectly calm, happy mare yesterday. The weather was beautiful and she couldn't have been more quiet. A nice reminder that her recovery is much faster than when we first met and than I should learn to count on it.

We had a fantastic ride, beautiful canter departs with ZERO fussiness and some of the best trot work we've had to date. I actually felt myself focusing on MY riding, rather than just training her. The new saddle has helped free up her back and she is 1000 times more relaxed. I rode her in the new fly bonnet, and as you will see from the photos, she didn't bat an eye. She did fuss a little when we cantered and she could feel it flapping on her forehead, but otherwise she was perfectly content, and I think she seemed a lot less worried about flies. Mission accomplished.

fly bonnet

It FINALLY arrived...sadly, my matching crocheted navy gloves were out of stock! So I am stuck with my silly purple ones until those arrive. I wonder what the mare will think of a fly bonnet? She REALLY hates flies, especially around her face...I hope she realizes that this is for her own good, and not just for me to live out my color coordination fantasies.

Follow up later tonight!

We did it!

Look, she's totally relaxed...er, sorta. She looks like she's part giraffe here.

I slept so poorly Saturday evening and woke up several times in the wee hours of the morning worried that I was going to oversleep. **In college I overslept for every first day of classes...I worry so much, set so many alarms, that I end up jinxing myself. I arrived much earlier than I needed to and distracted myself pretty quickly with barn chores. L went to the fair ground to pick up the trailer and I grabbed Kiki from her pasture and groomed her while my trailer buddy and her mount were working on braids. She was as quiet as could be so I felt pretty optimistic about how our day was going to unfold. I was REALLY hoping that L would load her (it's been 15+ years since I've loaded a horse onto a trailer), but of course he told me to grab and get on there. He's truly a no nonsense horseman. She walked up the ramp fine, and hesitated at the top, back a few steps (but never left the ramp), I walked back to her shoulder and she marched right on, and we left her loose in the first two spots. Bucky was loaded right after her and she seemed happy to have a buddy to ride along with. She ignored her hay and started moving around a bunch, but overall her travel behavior seemed pretty good. We followed behind and we drove the short ride to the fair grounds. B said that when we pulled in, my face was like a 10 year old's...wide-eyed and excited to be at a show -- she commented that she was surprised that I wasn't wearing my helmet in the car! I DID decide to at least look the part at the show grounds, I broke out my nice full seat breeches and my field boots (I know, I am nuts, I decided to break them in that day) I convinced L to unload her, since she was loose in the trailer and practically bursting through the divider, and she walked off nicely, he handed her off to me and I threw her in a stall to let her get acclimated. I gave her some hay and water, and trotted off to find B to let her know we had arrived in one piece. I tried to busy myself with other activities so I wasn't obsessing about her. I was really worried she was going to freak out when she saw her herd mate Note. For some reason when Kiki sees Note she loses her mind. Last week they had come back from a show just as I was tacking her up and Kiki practically strangled herself on the cross ties. It's a bad scene. Luckily Note's rider gets it and we did our best to keep them from interacting too much at the show. B told me to grab Kiki and hand walk her around, so I took Grace with me for added security and we walked her around a little. She was a bit of a maniac, and offered a few rears, but mostly kept it together. Asking her to stand still was completely out of the question. At this point I had sweat through my clothes and was probably shaking, so I took her back to the stall and let her relax a little more. Four of the horses (including Note) were trailered back to the farm and I knew we had a solid chance a good behavior with her gone. We had a little break between everyone's dressage rides so I scurried off to get her tacked up and the other horse stabled was going to join us as we walked down to the warm up area. She was dead quiet in the stall now, happily chomping on hay and almost sleeping while I got her ready. She practically tip-toed as we walked down and there was plenty of head shaking/smacking me with her full cheek bit as we continued. I had already brought her lunge stuff to the warm up and B came with me (I was admittedly very nervous). I asked her to lunge Kiki so I could see how she was feeling and not get wrapped up in her goofy behavior. She acted up a little, ever offering a few well placed kicks in B's direction. But she settled in eventually and seemed to be listening. I was still really nervous to get on, and B had to go help the other girls warm up for their tests. I was stuck with the wild pony and Grace. I had hoped that maybe Grace could get on and ride her a little before I had to, but B didn't want Grace riding her unattended so she said, "you can hand walk her until I'm done, or get on". Obviously I would rather be on her than on the ground (she's soooo much worse on the ground)...So Grace held her and I got on...um, eventually...you see, between the full seat breeches and the boots I was quite as flexible and had to lift my foot into the stirrup(not recommended with a wild pony), but I got on and walked her off, Grace let us go and we just got right to work. She had plenty of moments where she trotted around like a giraffe and hollered for friend, but I just kept her moving. She started to settle in and let out a few good releases. B was watching (secretly) and told us we were doing great! We trotted around for awhile and then B asked me to walk her up to the waiting area and ask her to stand. Well, easier said than done. She wanted NO part in standing still. She pranced around and side stepped all over the place, but I just kept circling and asking for her to stand. Eventually she compromised by standing parallel to the dressage ring, so she had a clear view of the stables and the trailers. Such a princess.

Despite having a look on my face of impending vomit, I was quite happy with how she behaved since she didn't offer any behavior that was new. She acted as bad as she has at home, but not the worst she has ever been. I understand her bad behavior now enough to deal with it. Does she still scare me sometimes? Certainly. But I have to trust that I can handle it. I also have to trust that B is never going to over face me. She knows I can handle the mare, and that I can ride. I need to stop doubting myself and just get on and ride. That needs to be my mantra. Stop being a wimp Niamh -- get on and ride.

I loaded her at the end of the day and she was fantastic, this time she was clipped in like a normal horse! I unloaded her when she got back and although I thought for sure she was going to burst out of the trailer she walked out quite sensibly. I put some fly spray on her and walked her out to the pasture. I turned her loose and she galloped off to see her friends, I am certain she had LOTS to tell them!

Oh Mares.

**ps. we did so well that B wants me to bring her to the next hunter show in a few weeks...and maybe bring my coat, in case I am feeling REALLY brave.