Finding the right horse for you. A tribute to Cuna.

I am slightly at a loss for words as I try to write this...

Aimee was faced with the most heart-wrenching horse-owner decision this week. It's the decision that we all dread and the most important and selfless act one can do on behalf of their equine partner. She let her beautiful partner Cuna go. She could no longer watch as he suffered uncomfortably and she made the call to let him pass with dignity. For all he did for her in their short duration together it was the least she could do for him. Over the last few months she's watched as his condition has gone up and down, she's felt hope and defeat and finally when things truly started to look bleak she was able to do the right thing for him. To say I admire her would be an understatement.

You see, I was the kind of girl that wanted to ride ever since I was a little kid. I would ride anything (mostly because my parents couldn't really afford to support my horse-crazed activities) which led to catch riding bad ponies and sale horses. Looking back, I deliberately put myself in danger simply because I wanted to ride. In Florida, I would arrive to shows at my trainer's farm and get legged up on whatever horse or pony she was trying to sell. It was never pretty watching me get around a jump course or xc, but I learned how to be a scrappy rider that could stay on. At the time, that was all that really mattered. I had horses in my life and I was happy. As I got older, something started to change. I took a couple of really bad falls (after a stint of 11 years without falling) and my mortality, which was something I had never given any attention to, was moving to the forefront of my mind. I took a long hiatus from riding during college and few years afterwards but when I got back into riding back in 2008 I felt fearless again. I was exercise riding draft horses at an equine therapy center. I galloped through the woods without a care in the world. I wanted to find a trainer to ride with and get some finesse back so I started taking lessons again. She had a young, feisty mare to give me as a project and I took her on, blindly because (again) I just wanted to ride. She was dangerous, and wild, and 100% the wrong horse for me. She taught me so much in our short time together, but despite the fact that I knew she'd never trust anyone the was she trusted me, I couldn't convince myself to buy her. My trainer offered more than once, but in the deepest corners of my heart I knew that all she would do was further shake my confidence. I had taken her from being almost completely feral to school-horse quiet in the barn. She'd let me do anything with her but she was outright dangerous with anyone else at times. I wanted a horse I could event, foxhunt, trail ride, and do a little bit of everything with and she simply not the right horse for me. I'm glad that in the end I didn't have to make the decision, but it still hurt like crazy when she was shipped away.

Fast forward a few years and lots and lots of lessons and horses later and I found myself at a farm in Conowingo, MD riding some OTTBs with a friend of mine. Even though I wasn't looking for a horse, she kept legging me up on these green beans. I liked a few of them but nothing really clicked. She truly understood what I wanted in a horse. Something young-ish, good brain, not too big and not too small, a horse that I could do a little bit of everything and that would make me confident again. She found me that horse unknowingly with Riley. He restored my confidence with every ride and I knew I had to have him. He was (is) without a doubt, the right horse for me and our journey is just beginning.

But the truth is, I wouldn't have understood that without Aimee. Following her journey and struggle with Izzy, I watched as she made the difficult decision to sell her on and start looking for a new partner. She was really at a crossroads in her horse-y life and then Cuna came along. I cannot put in to words how much she needed him and he needed her at the exact moment in their lives, but the transformation with Aimee's riding and the blossoming of her confidence was inspiring. I wanted that relationship with a horse. It feels like a real honor to have been able to follow along with them over the last year or so.

When I found Riley and began to blog about him, Aimee would always say that Riley was like a mini-Cuna. I always thought that was a really nice thing to say, but now, after everything they've been through it seems like the most incredible compliment anyone could give my horse. If Riley turns out to be 1/8th the horse that Cuna was I would be the happiest girl in the world.

That's what the right horse will do for you... There's not enough time on this Earth to waste with the wrong horse. Everyone deserves to have a little bit of Cuna in their life.

Now go hug your horse!

Getting back on track and setting some tentative goals

Gorgeous sunrise at Derry Meeting.

So the weather has been a bit bipolar to say the least. We've had days where the high was 5 degrees followed two days later by 60 degrees and rain. The conditions at the farm have held up pretty well considering we had a foot of snow on the ground two weeks ago, last week we got 2 inches of rain in an hour, and now the ground is frozen again. According to the farm owner, our property is holding up better than most (she currently boards her horse at a very fancy facility that she said is a complete mud pit). Now that the ground is frozen again the chopped up muddy areas are tough for some of the horses to walk on, but I have to say that Riley is not even a little sore. I'm hoping he doesn't bruise his soles over the next couple of weeks, but so far, so good. So fingers crossed for that. In the meantime, I've been picking up bits and pieces of tack to replace what was stolen. I broke down and ordered Riley a new bridle (though I'll probably reserve it for showing, etc) and it looks lovely. I was inspired by Aimee's post about bridles, so I took the plunge and tried out an Ovation Figure 8. It has just enough fancy stitching, a fancy padded crown piece and it's nicely padded overall without being bulky.

Riley turns 5, we get lots and lots of snow and my pony is the best ever (A picture heavy post)

Breakfast time is VERY exciting! I had to park so far away and trudge through crazy snow drifts to bring him his mash!

Being total lunatics when I showed up with the feed buckets. Riley gives Henry a run for his money.

My horse who has barely been ridden in three months, save for one other ponying adventure, was caught and tacked up in a foot of snow out in his field and ponied his bff 1.2 miles back to the barn like a champ. Love him.

With frigid temps (yes, worse than this) on the way, we decided to move the boys back to the barn. Party time is over. Riley will be back in work in a few weeks hopefully!

Emily opted for the giant snow drift covered banks rather than the slippery roads. The boys were so good! I chaperoned by car.

While the boys in the other gelding field weren't particularly helpful, it's these guys we were most worried about. See that pinto donkey? VERY SCARY INDEED.

The view when I left the barn yesterday. Everything was a sheet of ice when I arrived, but the horses got out for a few hours to play in the snow and we got lots of rain today that hopefully melted most of the mess.

We're going to have to separate these two soon. Lots of screaming for one another as I turned them out one at a time. Usually I'd take them both out together but I was stumbling around in a foot of snow!

That's all for now. The temperature today is 50, dropping to 17 over night. The high tomorrow is 10 with a low of 5 and a real feel of -15. Yikes.

This isn't North Dakota, but...

Tomorrow's high is 17. Low, 7.

We're getting a wicked snow storm tonight that is coupled with 35 mph winds which will makes things interesting at the barn. Luckily I don't feed today or tomorrow and my Honda would not fare well in that nonsense...however the girls were out in full force today to fill up hay racks, give everyone a warm mash and double up blankets...

Riley begs to be let into the truck.

Pleaaaaaaaase? I promise I won't be a back seat driver!

Also, my horse is special.

The cutest pony, ever.

A Very Special Christmas Themed Contest (re-post)

Aoife (another awesome Irish horse girl with an impossible name to spell or pronounce) is running a very fun Christmas themed contest on her blog. She wanted to have a giveaway for some of my paper cut work, so she's graciously commissioned me to make the prizes!

While she has asked people to promote my Etsy shop as a caveat of the contest, I did not ask her for promotion (but I will gladly take it). 

So if you like Christmas, and dressing up your pony, head on over to her blog to read more details about the giveaway. If you've ever wanted one of my paper cuts but didn't have the funds, this is a perfect way to win one!

**Not Riley**, but basically what I think he'd do if I put a Santa hat on him. This is probably one of the only times I will ever use a stock photos, apologies!

New Paper cuts!

I'm having a winter sale if anyone is interested!

Enter coupon code: WINTERISCOMING for 25% your entire order! http://www.etsy.com/shop/TraceALine

Here are my latest pieces:

Aimee + Cuna!!!!

Sam - a gift for someone who recently lost her horse

Quick Update

It's been snowing like crazy here so with the robbery behind us and 10" of fluffy white stuff everything has come to a screeching halt at the farm.

Riley and Henry who came galloping up in the mud for breakfast. Riley is looking terrific and gets a trim on Thursday. We're 3 months without shoes now! Henry thinks he's being coy trying to steal Riley's breakfast!

Lucy on Sunday romping around in the fresh snow. Is there anything better than making the very first footprints in fresh snow?

Finally, an engraved reminder to put on my big-girl pants, sit up and RIDE!

Holding Pattern

We are in a holding pattern right now at the farm. I can't ride Riley who is so beautifully sound it's nearly soul crushing. When we were at a farm with an arena I couldn't ride him because he was crippled. By the time I can piece together enough tack to ride him, the ground will be frozen solid. Sigh. My hope at this stage is that the saddle I am borrowing on Wednesday fits him well enough to get a few rides in and see how he's feeling under saddle. We've made arrangements with a farm next door to use their indoor for $20 a ride which would be great (though, literally $20/ride is money that could be spent toward replacing my tack). I'd like to keep him in SOME sort of work throughout the winter... or, do I just throw him out for two months and figure out everything else? He's only 4 after all. My wonderful farrier comes next Thursday and I'm really curious to see what he says about Riley's feet. They've come a long way in the last 6 months and he's at the 10 week mark for being barefoot and not a lame step in sight. I've witnessed him cantering up and down terrain, jumping ditches and streams and I can't wait to get back on!

It's my birthday this week and I'm just feeling blue about it all. I'm sorry for the lack of positive posts lately. I'm trying to look for a silver lining, really I am. You guys have been more support than I could ever ask for.

In other news, I'm turning my pitbull Lucy into the best barn dog ever. Not only is her recall nearly 99% confirmed, she left the chickens alone, doesn't care too much about the horses and makes me feel a little safer when I'm there. I'll turn her into a barn dog yet! My plan is to start bringing her out on the early mornings when I feed and on Sundays (I have too much to do on Saturdays and she might get bored). Perhaps the presence of a pitbull will help deter any future robberies! *Sadly, my loveable Boxer is too distracted at the barn and a bit too interested in the horses, so he can stay home and be an old man:)

She's got the good life.

Aftermath

I am so truly grateful for each and everyone one of you that reached out to me in some way yesterday. It was a day filled with many emotions. I was angry and felt violated because of the burglary. I was grateful and content that my horse was okay. I felt selfish for wanting to throw a pity party for myself and my friend. I was overwhelmed with feelings of hurt and sadness because things in my life have been really shitty lately. I tried my best to look on the positive side of things, no, they didn't take EVERYTHING of mine, but they did take everything of value. All the stuff that's hardest to replace and the most expensive. I live on a very strict budget and it took me months to gather up all of those items. Worse, it took me a really long time to find a saddle to fit Riley and I hate thinking about having to do that all over again.

I mean is life playing a cruel joke on me? My horse is sounder than ever and then THIS happens? It's unfair.

But pity party aside, we went to the barn to see what else was missing and what we need to replace.

I've been lucky enough to have at least one of you guys offer me bridles and breastplates. We lost and still need:

*Cob size bridle (preferably with flash)
*Dr. Bristol snaffle (full cheek)
*48" and a 50" wintec/fleece girths
*Lunging surcingle
*side reins
*thinline pads (I'm so mad mine is gone!!!!!)
*and oh yea, if anyone has a medium/wide or wide 17.5" jump saddle they're not using that would be great too (ha, wishful thinking)

There's more stuff obviously that we lost but these are a few of the major ones. If any of you have anything you're not using and could send our way it would be greatly appreciated. I hate even asking but times are really tight right now especially with just moving into the new barn and even though my stuff was covered by my homeowner's insurance, I can't swing the $1000 deductible right now. Maybe I should just have a fundraiser!

I gave Riley a million hugs and thought about how lucky I am to have the sweetest horse in the world.

Funny how they know when we are sad.

I took this just as we were leaving and the sun was starting to set. It's so beautiful there. I can't wait to hack these paths with Riley.

Please repost

Our tack room was broken in to last night and all of our tack was stolen. Three saddles, 2 bridles and everything else you can imagine. Here's a fill description with photos if you'd like to share or be on the look out.

17.5 Berney Bros monoflap XC Saddle. Dark brown with exposed knee blocks & long rear thigh block. One billet on one side is lighter brown. Custom made.

17" Parker Toptami forward seat jumping saddle. Brown with smooth molding flaps over concealed knee rolls. No paddins on flaps. Older saddle with newer billets.

Nunn Finer bridle cob size.Brown with flash. Rubber reins with brass buckles. Full cheek Dr. Bristol snaffle bit.

Thinline pad, two short girths, long girth, lunge line, side reins and two saddle pads

Heritage 17.5 all purpose/jumping saddle. Nearly new. Has "hertitage" stamped into the leather in various places. New stirrups leathers (darker than saddle with flex irons).

Nearly new Thinline fleece half pad taken with Heritage saddle.

Horse size Nunn Finer figure 8 bridle with Happy Mouth mullen bit with silver buckles, etc. Rubber reins. Nunn Finer breast plate and neck strap. Fleece 48" girth.

 There's a slight chance this is covered by my homeowners insurance, but I'm not sure and three of us have lost everything. I'm going to the barn to see if anything else is gone.

full disclosure...

If any of you are friends with me on Facebook or Instagram, you've probably already gathered that I tend to lean to the dark side of things from time to time. This can manifest in cryptic status updates and gloomy photos... but don't misunderstand me, I'm not looking for attention or crying out for help. It's a very real, very ingrained part of my personality. I've been an old soul since I was very, very little. I'm the kind of person who is profoundly moved by seemingly small things. I feel very deeply about things that most people don't. I'm a bit of a tortured soul (how cliche of me to say that as an artist) and I fluctuate between being extremely motivated and positive to states of crippling anxiety and depression. I had my first bona fide anxiety attack when I was 22. I remember it VERY specifically and I could not move for a few days. It felt as though someone was standing on my neck and I couldn't get out of bed. I'm sure at the time I really freaked out my roommate... but I was more frightened by all of it. Being very self-aware, I can understand and reflect back on why this happened, there were triggers, and a few major situations that led to that point. I had struggled with insomnia following a car accident in high school and that certainly didn't help much either. It took years for me to understand what was actually going on with my brain. My friend's Mother called it "underdeveloped limb syndrome"... the idea being that if you were born with one leg shorter than the other, maybe you wouldn't notice it as an infant, then as a toddler maybe your parents start to notice, as young child other children may see that you are little different, and by high school it's something that you've been made fun of for, and by the time you get to adulthood you're completely self-conscious about it, trying to hide it as much as you can and being very aware of it at all times. My anxiety is my under-developed limb. I can go long periods of times with nary an issue and then I fool myself into thinking it's gone. It creeps up on me like a stranger in the night and before I know it I'm back to being immobilized by it. But if it wasn't for this tortured soul part of my personality that feels things so intently, I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm a bit of a strange creature, and people are drawn to that, however I easily overwhelm people and can be too intense for some... I know that about myself. I fall in love with kindred spirits though and when I recognize that dark soul in someone else I want to hide there with them. Outwardly, I can seem very normal but inside I feel like a frayed wire. I am comforted by being social because it's a distraction from the war going on inside me.

In the footfalls of legends

Yesterday I moved Riley to a new farm. I'm sure if you've been following my blog for any period of time you're thinking... again? Yes, again. Our current place was only a temporary solution until we could find a barn to rent again. Despite being in one of the most horse-centric areas of the country we had a very difficult time trying to find a place. People flaked out at the last minute, didn't follow through with their promises and some places were just unfit for horses. While the amenities at the current place were great for the price (xc jumps, arena with super footing, hacking, etc) the circus atmosphere was a lot to deal with. That, and it just wasn't convenient for boarding a horse. We had to keep our stuff so far away from our horses that every time we wanted to tack up it became an ordeal, schlepping stuff all over to wherever our horse was cross-tied. That, and despite there being about 30 horses on the property, there were only two places to tack up and we had no access to a stall even if we needed one! We came across a fantastic opportunity that truly felt too good to be true. So the three of us (the two girls who rented the previous barn and I) decided to all go see this place together, meet the new owner and make a decision. It was a unanimous YES on all accounts...

What I didn't know, was that the farm was iconic. I'm not sure how long ago exactly, but the very famous Derry Meeting Farm came up for sale (if you don't feel like going to the link, Danzig and Storm Cat were both foaled there at the farm!!!). It was split into three separate parcels and each one was sold to a different owner. Erin Sylvester has one, I'm not sure who has the other, and we have the third (by we, I mean of course that a couple purchased the property and we are renting the barn)! So we drive up to the property and I immediately recognize the gates in all the fields. They are quite distinctively yellow with a large "V" shape in the middle. The barn is a modest bank barn in really good repair. It's unclear how long it was vacant for, but it was pretty cobwebby when we first looked at the place. This particular property was the broodmare farm, which would explain the gigantic stalls and sheds.

Inside of the barn, looking out the driveway. Riley's stall is the second on the left in this photo.

Despite being a little dusty, the place looked great. We were all a little wide-eyed looking around. It was just what we were looking for, 11 stalls, LOADS of turnout, sheds, access to the best hacking around and quiet. The woman that owns the property has a horse that she keeps in the area and ideally wanted to find a few people to run the barn and eventually she would like to move her horse over too. She's putting in a ring (hopefully in the next month, the contract has been signed -- we're just waiting for the company to finish up Erin's). She was pretty adamant about not wanting a boarding facility, nor does she want any real role in the barn operation, so she was just as thrilled to meet us. We were excited to know that she had a good friend who also wanted to move her horse there and we decided that the barn would be run as a co-op. We all really like the idea of shared responsibilities and a small co-op can be really effective if it's run correctly.

One of the "riding" fields. This is the view from the overhang on the side of the barn with dutch doors, looking out to Riley's turnout field. There's a large pond and a natural stream running through the whole property.

The stalls in the barn are HUGE. I think the smallest is 14' x 18'. Riley's is roughly 15' x 15' with a dutch door looking out over the property. The trickiest thing so far has been leveling the stall floors. They are clay based and were quite lumpy when we first looked at the place. We dragged out a bunch of family members yielding pick axes last weekend and tried to break up some of the old hay, pee, poop that was now like concrete. I worked on painting the newly made saddle racks and Breaking up the surface of the stall. It seriously looked like he took a jack-hammer to it. He wasn't removing any of it as he went along so I had to shovel it out in stages. The floor is looking quite a bit better, but we'll still need some sort of gravel or stone dust to level it out further and mats (down the road). I have a little more work to do on Sunday and then it will be good enough to bring him in at night until we get the other stuff sorted out. It's not a good long term solution, since cleaning stalls with dirt floors increases your costs of straw etc, but... baby steps.

So the barn was in almost ready state when we moved everyone in yesterday. You know, for someone who has only had a horse for 6 months I have certainly acquired SO much horse crap. We filled up the back of our Honda Fit, which holds a remarkable amount of cargo and I still had to put stuff in the trailer. I dragged a very reluctant Riley out of his field (ps. His Baker sheet is mostly intact) and threw him on the trailer. He was happy enough to oblige and chomp on hay. As we were loading the boys the two dog kennels surrounding the jump field were deafeningly loud. They were all hysterically barking and it made me feel so happy that we don't have to deal with that anymore (*I will miss the puppies). The new place is only 10 minutes away and the boys unloaded well. We stuck them in a small paddock together to take everything in and Riley put his head down into knee deep grass to graze.

I finished up organizing my stuff into my trunk... I bought one of these for in front of my stall -- seriously... a tack trunk for $68. It fits my saddle (though, I'm not keeping it in there) and 90% of my stuff. It even has a pull out tray that looks like a mini grooming box (I'm planning on keeping medical supplies in it). Eventually, I'd like to have a really tack trunk, but this is completely functional, has wheels, a handle and it locks!

Around 5 I took Riley down the road to his new turnout field which is roughly 20 acres. There's a catch pen at the bottom of it, which is great, as it was previously used for sorting cattle. He's going to be turned out daily with 3 other geldings and about 20 sheep! 

A photo from the real estate listing of one of the sheds. They are GIGANTIC.

I walked Riley up the hill so he could take everything in (Oh, I should mention he walked down the road landing heel-first and sound to his field, progress!) and un-clipped him at the shed and he wandered around with his turnout buddy. No shenanigans, no galloping, just two very happy horses. Phew.

View from Riley's field looking back to the barn (future xc course to be built in the field to the right of the barn in this photo). Not too shabby?

I'll try to take some better pictures this weekend. All of these fields have wide hacking lanes in between them as well as along the perimeter of each field. It could take you an hour to hack around the whole place (at least). While I'm eager for the ring to built, this is a perfect scenario for Riley's winter plan. Hacking, good footing, and lots of turnout with 12 hours of stall time a day to rest. I think we're going to like it here (and the plan is to stay for a very, very long time!) For reference, this parcel of land is located between Phillip Dutton's and Boyd's place!

I won't be out until Sunday, but I'm hoping to get lots done and still have time to saddle him up and go for a hack. Stay tuned!

*If I was ever in a position to take on another project horse, this place would be perfect.
**I'm not.
***Keep me away from CANTER MidAtlantic... I just found another AP Indy grand-baby for a steal.