I need to update!

Since the last post I have had 6 rides on the mare moving forward ever so slightly. Training a green horse is something I haven't done since I was much younger and my sense of fearlessness has really diminished in my old age. I get unnerved riding sometimes now in ways that seem foreign to me. I get frustrated with my own doubt and cave in when I should push forward. Video-taping my rides has helped me to conquer some of this self doubt by allowing me to see not only how small Kiki's temper tantrums are, but how well I handle them. Trusting your own ability is difficult when you feel like you could ruin the horse (I know that's not true). B has been incredibly patient with me and has helped give me some tools to use with Kiki that can alleviate some of the scary behavior when I am by myself.

One thing I am learning, frankly the hard way, is that she's not going to be consistent for a long time. I get so excited when she has two good rides in a row that when she has a bad day I get derailed. Stupid.

We have been doing a little lunging (something I have always had strong opinions about NOT doing), but it seems to help her work out quirks here and there and to allow her to find balance with side reins(very loose). She has a nice self carriage so I am not struggling with her head to stay down (long and low) but she is actually a bit behind so we are trying to ask her to move into the bridle a bit more. The herd bound behavior is still pretty bad, and during my last lesson on Saturday (where I proclaimed I WOULD ride outside), the mare just about lost her mind when she saw two herd mates being turned out while my instructor opened the side doors of the arena. It was a great time for B to work through things with me and I handled Kiki fine as she called, jigged and spooked around the arena. Once we got outside she settled down a bit and the other mares just chomped on some hay instead of trying to distract her. It was a great day to test out the waters riding outside (I did cool her out a few days prior all by myself outside -- she looked at me like, "seriously?" when I asked her to walk out of the main arena door with me on her back)...there were truckloads of guys pulling down trees and replanting new ones along the fence lines, another horse doing canter transitions and two yearling colts playing and fighting in the pasture next to us. She spooked once at the colts, but mostly she kept her head. She certainly bowed out every time we headed towards her pasture, but after a few times around she settled in licking and chewing and got focused. I was quite proud of her.

We stood around while the next lesson came out and warmed up around us and she stood (mostly) quiet for about 10-15 minutes.

The next few weeks are going to be a bit rough for us, I can't ride her today so she will have had 3 days off when I see her tomorrow, I'll ride Thursday, but then I will be away for 4 days and probably won't be able to ride her until next Wednesday! I am hoping the exercise rider can hop on her once or twice in the meantime! Then my little vacation is coming up the second week of June! Agh! At least that involves lots of riding, even if it's not on her!

totally weird

Instead of feeling sorry for myself and submitting a less than stellar entry (I had a god-awful lesson Tuesday), I will share this (while I gorge myself on Drumstick flavored Edy's):

The tattoo was done for a good friend of mine who designs toys for a living, she was moving to Chicago and I wanted to get a drawing of one of her designs...I chose a pony (naturally), the picture frame was done by my talented tattoo artist Cindy...I love old picture frames. So, tattoo, circa June/July 2008...meeting Kiki, March 2010...there is a mild to moderate similarity:)

A week's worth

A weeks' worth of riding behind me and working into day 10 of the plague, I won't bore you with the minute by minute details of my past rides, but here are some highlights:

*Thursday's lesson included one hour of her undivided attention...seriously, one hour of ZERO herd bound behavior...no calling, none. It was quite amazing. We worked on lots of ground pole work, which she thought was super fun, managing to get quite full of herself (while still keeping it together) in between exercises. We did a little bit of canter work and I had one of those great "a-ha" moments where my instructor reminded me to ask her for the canter and then wait and I did just that...she said to wait until I felt her canter underneath me and then ask her to move on. It was fantastic. I know that doesn't sound like anything, but when you are struggling with a green horse and something just clicks, it's huge!

*Saturday I showed up to ride her and she was a bit injured. Now the weird thing about this is that I had a dream Friday night that she hurt herself (much worse in the dream)...so I was freaked out when I brought her in and she had scratches up and down her left hind. Her leg was stocked up and it looked like she got cast during the night and cut herself with a chip on her right hoof...grr...the farrier comes this week where that crack will likely get trimmed off and she'll get her first set of front shoes. Sadly the ground on the property it too hard for her not to have at least front shoes on since she's turned out 24/7. Initially our plan was to throw her on the trailer to join some girls at a local show so she could have the experience of leaving the property and hanging out in a new place. One of the girls showing fell right before my lesson Thursday and broke her wrist so my instructor decided to sit this weekend out. I was happy about that because not only was she hurt, but there were 50 mph wind gusts all weekend. I rode her a little to see if she was off, and cold hosed her for 20 minutes. I am keeping my fingers crossed that she's sound for Tuesday!

**Oh yea, I brought my camera to take confirmation photos of her but obviously chose to wait...maybe I will wait until her new bridle arrives this week!

I had a nice trail ride this morning on my favorite therapy horse Sergio. Volunteering this afternoon was equally rewarding as one of my favorite riders with CP rode Sergio without any assistance from me...I nearly cried. She's seriously come so far since last year when she could barely hold the surcingle. Equine happiness on all fronts.

The plague and other stories

I have been riddled with a horrible plague since last Thursday, but I have fought through it to entertain company from across the continent and managed to ride Kiki twice. Friday was a gorgeous day, and I had already planned to take off from work, but my cold was just beginning to kick in, I decided to have my lesson regardless. I think the mare knew I wasn't 100% and she didn't challenge me in any way. The barn was full of horses so we were forced to cross tie (sort of) which made for a good opportunity for more ground training with her. I always expect the worst from her, especially with something like cross tying (she's not exactly known for standing still) and she's easily distracted. But I had all my ducks in a row, tack ready, helmet close, etc...so I wouldn't have to abandon her on the ties. The cute part of all of this is that, since she is bonding with me, she wants to follow me now! But that makes for a tough lesson on the cross ties. I only hooked one of them up and draped a lead rope around the left side of her so she "felt" tied. She stood like an old school horse save for chewing on the cross tie. Seriously, this mare who you could barely get near a month and a half ago was standing without a care in the world, relaxed, and resting a leg. It should be noted here that I am not training a horse whose never been touched...most of this is a refresher course for her, but she was in a pasture for the last year after her last attempt of getting back into to training. It is encouraging to see her "get" things. She is smart and willing and I think that's what I like about her most of all.

We tacked up and headed in to the arena for our lesson. She was just a lamb for everything! I asked B to start my video camera (I won't bother posting the video here -- it's long and boring and features a good 5 minutes of me trying to get my new stirrup leathers right), but it was really nice to watch it later and see our progress together. Another women who owns a gigantic thoroughbred cross that she bred and raised, was riding before me and I let her do a couple of dressage tests so Kiki and I had to stand quietly in the corner while they passed by. As I said before standing still is not her strong point, but she was fantastic! When they finished up, B had me work on some leg yielding at the trot and some 20 meter circles in different areas of the arena. The other woman riding said that I was a lovely, soft, quiet rider! This means a lot coming from this lady! She was excited to see Kiki go (as well as everyone else who rides there -- Kiki's reputation precedes her). We finished up the lesson doing a couple of basic dressage tests (boy am I rusty with the arena letters!) and I was really proud of her for staying focused throughout. She was being such a good girl that B suggested we go for a little cool down walk outside! I was a bit worried about Beauty (the grey filly mentioned before) calling to Kiki and distracting us, but even when she did and with Kiki responding she never reacted in a bad way. No spooking, jumping, bolting, just calling. I guess I can handle that. Baby steps, right? I brought lunch and ate next to her pasture and when I walked up to give her a treat she whinnied at me! I think I felt my heart melt.

Saturday's ride was more of the same, perhaps a bit shorter as it was in the upper 80's. We rode for the first time with the big side door of the arean wide open (it faces her paddock). She never tried to run through it, but she did lift her head and get distracted EVERY single time we passed it. I was proud of her for staying with me.

*EDIT: Another big moment for Kiki on Saturday was being "cross-tied" while a friend's mare was being reluctant to load on the trailer. She stood quietly while the mare panicked, backed up, and goofed around, all about 50 ft in front of her!

In a little over a month, me and some of the other girls at the farm are heading to Virginia for a riding vacation. I am super excited and I am thinking that I just might purchase a pair of tall boots and maybe, just maybe a show jacket. You know what that means?????? Mostly, I just want to get Kiki a new bridle to match her shiny martingale. I cannot wait to go on this trip...we are learning to play polo, ride side-saddle, and best of all, we will get to school cross country on some fantastic horses!

compassion

*Left photo: cell phone photo of him abandoned
*right photo: iphone in front of my house yesterday
I thought I would post a little something here about the OTHER love of my life...my pup Hugo. He was abandoned almost a year ago in front of a coffee shop on in West Philadelphia. I saw his photo posted on Facebook (one of the useful functions of social networking), borrowed a car, raced over and picked him up. He had a chain leash that was tied in knots around a bike rack which was attached to a chain choke collar that was embedded (only slightly). He came pretty willingly, since it was raining, and I brought him home. My intention was to post photos, ads, etc to find his owner. In the meantime I bathed him, and bathed him, and bathed him...he was so incredibly covered in fleas, I just cried my heart out watching them eat away at his skin while I tried to remove them. I gave him some frontline and he was feeling much better! A week or so went by without a solid lead as to who owned him, so I took him to the vet to see if he was microchipped (he wasn't), but he did have a couple of types of worms and he was about 10lbs under weight. My vet asked me then if I wanted to make him my dog...really, I think this was Hugo's decision. He was microchipped and we had officially adopted each other!!! WHOA!

The progression that Hugo has made makes me feel hopeful for my journey with Kiki. Patience, compassion, courage, and time are all things I had to dedicate to Hugo's rehab. He is a fantastic dog now and I would trade him for the world! Apparently, I have a thing for red heads (since I am sort of one myself)

first impressions

Tuesday Kiki and I had a lesson with my riding buddy Leorah. She has been in Montana for a month so she hasn't seen me ride the mare yet! I was hoping things would go smoothly for us! Kiki was excited to see me and we got right down to business. I knew Leorah would be tacked up in no time anxious to ride after a month off! No real issues getting ready save for my putting on her girth backwards...silly.

She was a acting a bit nutty in the arena because one of her lady friends was riding and then left us, but she recovered pretty well. Then, the grey filly in the herd called to her and she called back and the proceeded to leap on top of me...grrrr. Oh well, I got on anyway, which she was great for. I have started riding her with a crop from the very beginning of her ride so she doesn't associate it with a particular element of riding. I rarely use it save for a reminder smack on her should her and there to stay with me. She can be quite stubborn about listening the to aids, so we go like this...squeeze, squeeze, kick, kick, kick, smack...if she moves on the first squeeze then there is no need to keep reminding her. She doesn't respond to tough riding, so constant small reminders help her stay in the game. B told me I need to be annoying to her, so I don't get stiff when I am asking for something, and so she knows I won't give in to her defiance. When I was asking for leg yields she would lean into my leg (ugh), so B told me to give lots of little kicks to ask for the yield so she'll move away from the leg. Eventually it will take less and less exaggerated aids to get her to comply. During my lesson last week B had me hold my hands uncomfortably high (and probably in a proper dressage position) so I could help lift her off her forehand...with my hands higher she is forced to stay light in the bridle, moved forward from behind, and become more supple. She had been leaning on my hands a bit before. We did lots of lateral work in our lesson and we had a few "a-ha" moments. We also worked on freewalk and medium walk (actually walking might be her toughest gait). She stretches nicely into a freewalk but has a tough time getting her energy back for the medium walk.

Then, we did it...our canter. I wanted to go first because I didn't need any added pressure (or time to freak myself out), so we just went for it on her good lead. A bit of a mess the first time, but I kept after her and she got into it cantering around happily. Then we tried again, trot, trot, trot, CANTER! A beautiful departure! Only a few steps of trot to get the transition! We cantered around and I was ear to ear smiles. I did a nice down transition and trotted her around a couple of times to keep her thinking about moving forward and we called it a day. She stood patiently and quietly while Leorah completed her canter and she was fantastic while I untacked her, toweled her off and turned her out. Hooray!

I feel like a bit part of my anxiety came from not knowing what her canter was like, would she feel balanced, and if she acted up, could I stay with her? I know feel pretty confident by what she can give out (at least indoors). She hasn't done anything totally crazy yet under saddle...to be honest, she's much more frightening on the ground where she HAS pulled some acrobatics. But seeing her do any of that without me on her is a reminder to be aware that she IS capable of pulling silly maneuvers when she wants to.

Tomorrow I have a private half hour lesson with her, so I may hop on her early and have her nice and warmed up before our lesson time so we can work on more canter stuff! I am coming down with some sort of plague so I hope I can keep it together enough to ride and have a good lesson tomorrow!

ps. Leorah was excited to see her go and said we looked great together...if only she saw the horse I started with!

more boring video

I got a little video device this week and wanted to test it out. Mostly, I want to document my rides and progression with Kiki. So eventually the video clips will be a LITTLE more interesting.

I went to her pasture to give her a post-ride treat (part of our routine) and she made me walk ALL the way around to the side she was closest to...jerk.

herd bound

Two more rides in on Ms. Kiki and she is progressing nicely. We have been working on leg aids to help improve her balance and bending. She's still really stiff tracking right, but it's getting MUCH better. I know that these posts seem a bit trite and boring, but training a young horse is tough, so small moments of progress, like standing still for mounting, or not needing to be long-lined are huge. Thursday she was completely over stimulated by the activity at the barn. There were 4 lessons back to back, including one with some of her herd mates. She was acting pretty nuts by the time I brought her in and we had to play musical stalls for a bit before I could start grooming her. I helped out around the barn to get things organized and finally got on her after 2 hours! She nearly ran me over when I was moving her to a different stall to get to a little grey filly from her herd. She was stomping and pawing the ground and I swore she must be heading into heat. She settled and I took her in to get on and she was a champ...walking off and getting right to work. L left us alone and shut the two of us in the indoor ALONE...dun, dun, dunnnn... she whinnied, she spooked, she looked out the window, she snorted, she refused to move forward...it was a bit terrifying. Then, one of the students wanted to come in and grab the mount block, so she parked her mare just out of Kiki's sight, and she freaked out. I mean, she never did anything that would get me off, she just acted crazy, like at any minute she could explode. I tried my best to keep her moving and focused but it was really hard and unnerving. We ended things on a good note, I hopped off and un-tacked her only to have her remind me of her alpha status when I turned her out...she bolted and reared with me at the end of the lead rope...ugh.

Saturday's ride was uneventful, but I had to tack her up quickly and get on because L was leaving for work and there was only one other person on the property riding. She was so calm I thought about getting on without L holding her, but I waited anyway...there's no point in getting too brave. We had a nice, short ride, lots of leg yields and trot work.

After my ride Thursday, L gave me a little pep talk to reassure me of our progress together. He told me that initially, he wasn't sure if it was going to be worth the effort to get this mare back in to work, but now he sees real progress and that he hopes we can get to the bottom of her and go from there. We decided it would be best to make sure she has company when I am riding her and they are going to start weaning her off the herd. Fingers crossed!

Her new martingale, saddle pad and leathers arrived Friday and I can't wait to see how they fit!

silly video of our post-ride routine

Carrots, love, petting, ear rubs, and kisses on that velvety muzzle:

leaps and bounds (quite literally)

B and I decided to have me ride Kiki in my regular lesson yesterday. One of the other girls that rides there has her mare in bootcamp with B so she rode with me. Kiki seems to thrive when she has some company and it really worked out in the end. I helped with evening chores a bit so I could feed Kiki before I rode and so we were running behind schedule for our lesson. I brought her in to the indoor hoping to long-line her for a few minutes before I got on (this usually works out any kinks), but she seemed really solid so B suggested I just hop on. She was great! She stood quietly at the mount block and walked off like she had been doing it forever. She was a bit up, so I got her to work trotting around so she could warm up. We did lots of trot/bending work and leg yields at the walk. The lateral work was really hard for her but she started to connect the dots and began moving off my leg...and of course she got loads of praise. Toward the end of our lesson, the next group of riders came in and I felt a pit of dread in my stomach. B asked us to canter around in both directions and I got all worked up before I even started. Kiki was not listening to me as I asked her to leave the other horses and I suspected that she would dive in toward the other horses (she did), but we tried our best. After a couple of failed attempts, we finally got our right lead canter and circled around the arena, phew. The left lead was a disaster and I felt myself falling apart. For the first time B was really hollering at me to get it together. I could feel myself welling up with tears and I told B that I felt defeated. She reminded me of the past hour and all of the positives we had just experienced together, to channel that energy and try again. We did...we finally got a few steps of canter, continued around at a nice trot and B let us end that exercise. We finished up the lesson with some trot work over poles. Kiki made it the whole hour without incident! Hooray!

After I finished up with Kiki I got a chance to talk more with Beth about my lesson. She really helped me to understand why she is pushing me so hard with this horse. She explained that she wants to be sure that I can handle ANYTHING that this horse can offer me, and then she will let us plateau and focus on certain things. I am quite self-analytical and so having this kind of discussion post-lesson (especially a tough one) is really useful for me. I need to figure out a way to go easier on myself and try to focus on the positive moments. After all, it was only a few weeks ago that I was dealing with a wild animal that you couldn't get near with a brush! We have made huge progress, and there are going to be setbacks...

She and I are really bonding these days and I think she loves the attention (not to mention having a job to do). I am daydreaming about showing her in the fall!!!! I am totally in love with this little chestnut mare!

I think this is brilliant

You can really see the horse listening with every ear movement!

Hugo and Kiki meet (well, kinda)

Today Hugo and I participated in a dog walk to raise money for the SPCA in South Jersey. The women registering me were surprised to hear I came all the way from Philadelphia (well, little do they know I was in SJ to ride). Hugo (my rescued Boxer) was on sensory overload. We had been in the car for almost an hour and there were about a hundred dogs barking and going crazy so he was freaking out a bit, even trying to bite a friend's dog:( Once we got going he was great and fell right in to the pack, making his best buddy a little white maltese named Tucker. It was a really beautiful day, a touch on the cold side, but just gorgeous otherwise. We walked for about an hour and a half, got our goodie bags, and headed back to the farm. The 4-H girls were having a meeting and going on a trail ride, and I was scheduled to work with Kiki, even though I was short on time and had Hugo with me. He was content to hang in the car (windows down of course) with his blanket, favorite toy, and a treat bone.

I got right to work (skipping lunch) and grabbed the mare from her field. We took a different route back to the barn cutting through the outdoor riding area (I say 'area' because it's not fenced in and it's gigantic) and she circled around me in front of the new colts and acted a bit nutty, but I corrected her quickly and she settled. It's really neat working with her so consistently now because I see all the little progressions that she makes. For instance, now when I go to grab her from her paddock, she investigates my hands and pockets, let's me halter her, and then lets out a heavy sigh...in the past she would play chase, finally relent, and then snort and puff the entire way to the barn totally on edge. I think she is starting to understand that I am part of her herd now...of course, underneath her to some degree.

We didn't do much today, just regular grooming, tacking, and I long-lining her for about 10 minutes before hopping on. She was pretty hot while I long-lined her, but I think she got out her nerves pretty quickly. Once she's focused and listening, I can get on her without much fuss. It's really amazing to the transformation while she settles in. We did some trot work with lots of bending and transitions. She tripped on some soft footing, spooked, and caught herself on the martingale, freaking herself out for a millisecond. Silly girl. One of her herd came in and she started to get goofy, but I kept her focused and moving and we even followed the other mare just to challenge her. B commented on how nice she was going and how relaxed she looked. We ended on a good note!

One thing that was cute this morning was the 4-H girls (most of which have seen Kiki since she was a foal!) asking me all about Kiki and how she's doing! A few of them have seen me ride her and one said that she seems really relaxed with me, and that we have bonded! Woo hoo!