I just got off the phone with my instructor, they are going to find a new home for her. She acted so purposefully dangerous Tuesday and that's it. She's leaving. The show I thought I might ride in tomorrow was canceled (not relating to Kiki or her behavior) and so I was calling to check in about having a lesson on her tomorrow. Certainly not the conversation I expected.
I just spent a half hour crying hysterically at work in the photo studio, so if I say any more right now, it's just going to start again.
I will most likely not get to ride her again before she leaves. Tomorrow B asked if I would take confirmation photos of her. I think she felt terrible at the end of the conversation and I just sat their silent, holding back a million tears.
Now what?
I couldn't get your blog to accept comments before, so I'm glad it does now. I can't imagine getting rid of a horse so suddenly, without a 2nd chance or understanding what caused it. I feel so bad for you. Wish I could think of something uplifting to say, but ...all I can think of is hang in there. Better days will come.
ReplyDeleteOh, no - that sounds very abrupt! I feel so bad for you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you! for me it's always the emotional connection and planning and care and investment that makes it impossible to digest a change like this. I was literally on my way (with trailer) to pick up a rescue TB that was being surrendered to me. I had been working with her for a while and after after weeks of scrambling to get $$, equipment and support together the owner called to say she couldn't go through with it. I was absolutely crushed and couldn't imagine how to get excited or even interested about another horse. But after a few months, Miss Pia landed in my lap and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Good luck, breathe deep, I'll be thinking of you. :(
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ReplyDeleteI think that even if I said I was willing to take her on, 100% they would be seriously worried that she would hurt me. The thing that resonates in the back of my mind is that she never has. The only bad behavior she's ever offered has been manageable and not dangerous. Sure, I have been scared, but her and I have an understanding. At least that's what I thought. A small (or big) part of me feels like my motivation has just been taken away.
ReplyDeleteThis is really so tough. It's easy to believe you know in your gut what's right for this horse, but how can you ever truly know? I profoundly wish you had been there to see for yourself what happened. You may have seen something in Kiki only you could understand. My heart aches for you, it just really does.
ReplyDeleteI am supposed to go tomorrow for a lesson and to take photos of her for sale...it's making me sick just thinking about it. I can't believe I won't get to ride her again.
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